sabkuchh pakarbhi...jyuthika...

by jyuthika on March 04, 2015, 01:32:21 PM

Yoindia ShayariAdab > Shayri ( Poetry ) or Shayari > Shayri-E-Dard > Topic: sabkuchh pakarbhi...jyuthika...

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jyuthika

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4-3-15

Sabkuchh pakarbhi na jane kya chhut raha he,
Pakar manzilkobhi dil na jane kya dhundh raha he?
Sanse to chal rahi he par dilka tar-tar tut raha he,
Khalissi dilme uth rahi he,
dam jaise ghut raha he..

jyuthika..

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sksaini4

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Re: sabkuchh pakarbhi...jyuthika...

«Reply #1 on: March 04, 2015, 02:16:33 PM »


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jeet jainam

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Re: sabkuchh pakarbhi...jyuthika...

«Reply #2 on: March 04, 2015, 05:24:55 PM »

Bohat khubbb


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Prabha prakas

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Re: sabkuchh pakarbhi...jyuthika...

«Reply #3 on: March 04, 2015, 05:55:52 PM »


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surindarn

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Re: sabkuchh pakarbhi...jyuthika...

«Reply #4 on: March 04, 2015, 08:45:06 PM »

Jyuthika Jee aapne bahut achhaa likhaa hai,dheron daad. Ek suggestion bhi hai, ek to aap lafaz aapas mein jorhaa naa karo, aise parhne mein mushkil hotee hai. dooree baat yeh hai ke aapne har line mein rahaa hai yaa rahi hai kaa istmaal kiyaa hai, yeh theek to hai magar zaraa flat lagtaa hai sun.ne mein. Agar aakhree line mein ko aap aise likh den 'Naa jaanye dam kyun ghut raha hai, to yeh zaraa spicy saa lagne lage gaa.