tamam hui jaati hai -Panna 4:Shayri-E-Dard

poppoetry

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«Reply #45 on: August 22, 2009, 09:16:37 AM »

Quote from: Pooja on August 20, 2009, 09:18:02 PM

yah padne ke baad such main koi shabd nahi mil rahe hai jo mehsoos ho raha hai!!!

na jaane kitani baar yah sawal insaan khud se aor apne bhagwaan ji se karta hai!!
Sooni najar main , bheerd ke najaare
Na jaane jeete hai, iske bal per kitne sahare

Subah ko nikla, liye ek aass man main
Sham ko loute waise he thake hare

Bad rahi hai umar, aor majbooria bhi
Her waqat jiye, man ko mare mare

Uth rahi hai nigah, puche Rab se sawal
Hai koi khushi to, de de ab to malik
Sir jhukaye khare hai, hum tere daware….

Sooni najar main , bheerd ke najaare….

khub likha Pooja ji....dil ko chu gaye yr alfaaz Applause


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poppoetry

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Re: tamam hui jaati hai

«Reply #46 on: August 22, 2009, 09:28:59 AM »

Quote from: Sophi on August 22, 2009, 08:53:10 AM

Mazil ki Talaash mea Guzarte hai , Roz ak Anjaan Raah se
Dar Dar ki thokre Kha ,Wahin laut jaate hai Jahan se hum chale the

Sayad samaj nahi thi mujhe ya Fir meri kismat ne saath na diya
Junjate rahe hum kinaare pe aa, Aur Apno ne bhi haath kinch liye the

Ak pal ki Khushi ke Vaaste humne apni puri zindagi guzaar di hai
Na jaane kya kasoor tha mera , Jab mere bachche bhi mujhe Kinare chod gaye the

Ab tho mere Khawbo ki tasveer bhi mano Dundali si hone lagi hai
Puch raha hun aaj Khud se sawaal, Kya maine itne Bure Karam Kiye the?

Kho jata hun aaj Bhi Uss Khule aasaaman ko Dekh ,Jo Chand Sitaro ko Samete hue hai
Aur Nikalte hai ansoo aur pucta khuda se, Kya mere hisse Khushi ke pal na Likhe the.........

har lafj behtrin.....ek thake aur haare insaan k dil ka haal khub byaan
kiya aapne.....touching lines Applause


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poppoetry

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Re: tamam hui jaati hai

«Reply #47 on: August 22, 2009, 09:32:52 AM »

Quote from: khwaish on August 21, 2009, 05:04:48 PM

Zinda Rehna Hi Zindagi Ki Sabse Badi Nishaani Hai
uske Chehre Ki muskaan Par Naa Jaa, Zara Dekh Uski Aankh Mein Bhi Paani Hai

Woh to Bas Ek Karz Hai Zindagi ka Ke saans Aati Hai To Woh Le Leta Hai!!!
Kabhi Na Puchna Uss Shaks Se,Ke Aakhir Uske Hisse Ki Kya kahani Hai...

Hairaan Hoon Main Bhi Ke Tez Dhoop Mein Bhi Usse Dhoop Nahi Lagti!!!
Ankhein Bhojal Hai,Jism Toota Hua Par Bhi Chalte Rehne Ki Himmat!!!
Naa Jaane uske Saanson mein Aisi Bhi kya Rawaani Hai...

Badhti Umar Ki Soch To Jaise Kabhi Thi Hi Nahi!!!
Chehre par Koi Shikanj Nahi, Sach To Yeh hai Ke,
Zindagi se Humesha Rahi Uski kheencha-Taani Hai...

"Khwaish" Kehta Hai Zindagi mein Maut Se Bhi dardnaak Ek Saza Hai!!!
Woh Hai Insaan Ki Tanhai.....
Saath Ho Koi To Phir Bhi Chalne Mein Asaani Hai...

Har Ek Ki yahan Apni-Apni Kahani Hai!!!!!
Sach to Yehi hai Ke Zinda Rehna Hi Zindegaani Hai!!!!!!

Bahut hi khub khwaish ji......har alfaaz behtrin Applause


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thegrimreaper

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Re: tamam hui jaati hai

«Reply #48 on: August 22, 2009, 03:41:37 PM »

Quote from: Sophi on August 22, 2009, 08:53:10 AM

bahut accha roja ji. aapke alfaaz mein ek sach dikhta hai Applause


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bekarar

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Re: tamam hui jaati hai

«Reply #49 on: August 23, 2009, 03:15:26 PM »

Quote from: Pooja on August 20, 2009, 09:18:02 PM

pooja ji aapne bahoot saral tareeke se man me uth rahi duvidhaon ko shabdon me piroya hai.....daad kabool karen


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bekarar

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Re: tamam hui jaati hai

«Reply #50 on: August 23, 2009, 03:28:15 PM »

Quote from: Celmira on August 21, 2009, 04:53:25 PM

Sanjeev Ji.........Ye qissa sunne ke baad dil bohot bhar aaya...na jaane kitne log hain, kitne buzrug aadmi hain jo do waqt ki roti ke liye apna khoon paseena bahate hain.............Kai baar sochti hoon to haath ka niawal munh tak le jaane main takleef hoti hai.....Agar kabhi koi khana bach jata hai ya baasi ho gaya, to yahan par siwaaye phenkne ke koi option nahin rehta........tab bohot takleef hoti hai ki duniya main kitne log is khaane ke liye taraste hain...........aapne jis tarah us buzurg mazdoor ki aankhon main chupe dard ko mehsoos kiya aur use lafzon main dhaala, wo sirf yahi baat batata hai ki aap bohot achche insaan hain.......!!

God bless you always.

Talat
hum kisi ka dukh door nahi kar sakte magar use mahsoos bhi kar lete hain to kam se kam insaan hone ka ehsaas to baqi rah hi jata hai....


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Pooja

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Re: tamam hui jaati hai

«Reply #51 on: August 23, 2009, 03:34:27 PM »

Quote from: Nikhaar on August 22, 2009, 09:16:37 AM

khub likha Pooja ji....dil ko chu gaye yr alfaaz Applause

shukaria Nikhaar ji!!


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Pooja

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Re: tamam hui jaati hai

«Reply #52 on: August 23, 2009, 03:36:29 PM »

Quote from: bekarar on August 23, 2009, 03:15:26 PM

pooja ji aapne bahoot saral tareeke se man me uth rahi duvidhaon ko shabdon me piroya hai.....daad kabool karen

shukaria Bekarar ji!! Apke dil ki bhawnaao ko parr kar jo bhi mere man mai aai bhawnao ne likhwaya, likh diya... bahoot acha likha apne... uske samne mere shabd kuch bhi nahi.... aise he likh kar humane likhne ki prerna dete rahiyega..


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Pooja

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Re: tamam hui jaati hai

«Reply #53 on: August 23, 2009, 03:37:07 PM »

Quote from: bekarar on August 23, 2009, 03:28:15 PM

Talat
hum kisi ka dukh door nahi kar sakte magar use mahsoos bhi kar lete hain to kam se kam insaan hone ka ehsaas to baqi rah hi jata hai....

Very True Sanjeev ji!!!


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bekarar

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Re: tamam hui jaati hai

«Reply #54 on: August 23, 2009, 04:23:30 PM »

Quote from: SARVESH RASTOGI on August 21, 2009, 05:01:29 PM

Bhai waah Bekarar Ji
Kamaal ka likha hai
wah wah wah wah
SARVESH RASTOGI

bahoot shukriya janab... notworthy


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bekarar

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Re: tamam hui jaati hai

«Reply #55 on: August 23, 2009, 05:29:30 PM »

Quote from: khwaish on August 21, 2009, 05:04:48 PM

behad asardaar upasthiti hai aapki rachna ki is panne par......is dard ko shabdon ka jama pahnane ke liye aapko dheron daad
khwaish bro


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bekarar

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Re: tamam hui jaati hai

«Reply #56 on: August 23, 2009, 05:36:06 PM »

Quote from: Sophi on August 22, 2009, 08:53:10 AM

sophi ji,
aapki lekhni se nikli aakhiri do lines bahoot - bahoot hi prabhavit karti hain aur jis ghatna se panne ka janm hua ..ye lines padhte waqt...ek baar fir wo dard bhari aankhen mere zahan me chaa gai..
daad kabool farmayen


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bekarar

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Re: tamam hui jaati hai

«Reply #57 on: August 23, 2009, 05:38:36 PM »

Quote from: Nikhaar on August 22, 2009, 09:10:15 AM

Bahut khub bekarar ji...aapne apne alfaazon me bakhubi uss budhe insaan k dard ko utaara hai.....bahut khub icon_salut

shukriya nikhaar ji


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smardia

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Re: tamam hui jaati hai

«Reply #58 on: August 25, 2009, 12:07:32 PM »

Poojaji aap tou yu he jarre ko aasmaan par bitha rahi hain....
Aap tou khud itna achha likhti hain....Mai kya sara yoindia aap k hunar ka kayal hai....Shukriya...Dhanywad..Poojaji....

Quote from: Pooja on August 20, 2009, 04:04:28 PM

wah kaya baat hai smardia ji, bahoot khoob.. char line main sab kuch kah jaana,,, kash main sikh saku apki tarah likhna... bahoot khoob!!


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smardia

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Re: tamam hui jaati hai

«Reply #59 on: August 25, 2009, 12:47:12 PM »

Bekararji kyu aap ne ye itni dard bhari gazal likhi........
Haalaat padh kar kuchh lines likhne ka man hua so pesh hain

Ay mere khuda ye umra tamaam hui jaati hai
Ruswai meri ab tou sare aam hui jaati hai
Tan-man ki shakti ab khatam hui jaati hai
Bata mere Bhagwaan bata kya mere hisse mai
Thodi khushi bhi tujh se likh nahi jaati hai

Quote from: bekarar on August 20, 2009, 07:24:37 PM

Ufff....Sanjeev Ji..itni na-umeedi kyun........ Bohot achcha likha hai apne........Khuda aap ko har qadam pe kamyaabiyon se nawaze, apki har mushkil asaan kare, ameen.

talat....
bahoot shukriya aapki dua-on ke liye jo har waqt musibaton me mere saath hoti hi hai.....
is ghazal ko maine kin haalaton me likha mai zara uske baare me yahan bata dun....
mere office ki shifting ka kaam chal raha tha aur mujhe kuch "majdooron" ki jaroorat thi loading-unloading ke liye....to yahan SURAT (gujraat) me is kism ke kaam karne ke liye majdoor ek fix jagah par ikattha hote hain..jahan se koi bhi apne kaam ke hisaab unhe hire kar sakta hai.......chunki suraj dhalne ki taiyaari me tha...to us fix jagah par mujhe sirf char majdoor hi mile jinme ek kuch umr-daraj aadmi bhi tha.....mere kaam ke liye mujhe sirf teen ki hi jaroorat thi....to un chaar admiyon ne apas me ye faisla kiya ki ye boodha kuch jyada kaam nahi kar paayega ise yahin chod diya jaaye.......khair jab unka aapas me hi jhagda hone laga to maine chaaron ko hire kar liya kyunki time kam tha aur kaam jyaada...
jab kaam hone laga to us boodhe ne bhi khasa kaam kiya aur wo shakal aur haav-bhav se kuch majakiya sa bhi laga mujhe....baaton - baaton me usake beete ateet ke kuch panne bhi khule...khair baat aai-gai hui..mera kaam khatm hua aur unhe maine vida kiya....
kal shaam ko kuch andhera sa hone laga tha aur mai traffic me fansa hua desh ki yatayaat vyavstha ko kos rahah tha ki mere just aage khde hue tempo par kapde ki potaliyon ke beech mujhe wahi boodha maskhara aadmi baitha dikhai diya jise maine mere office shifting ke samay hire kiya tha...maine horn baja-kar uska dhyan apni aur khichna chaha.....lekin wo upar aasman ki taraf dekhta hua kuch soch raha tha........samne mai head light ki roshni se uski aankhon ko saaf dekh paa raha tha...us maskhare boodhe ki aankhon me us samay mujhe pata nahi kyun bahoot dard nazar aaya.....veerana najar aaya....mano ki wo bhagwaqn se pooch raha ho ki ab jindagi ki shaam me bhi kya mere achche din aayenge ya fir mujhe bina kisi hasil ke hi is duniya se jaana hoga?
maine likhne ki koshish ki hai us samay uske man me kya vichar honge....mai poora ab bhi nahi likh paaya hun magar maine post kar diya......


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