Bad joke competition.....

There were two nuns..

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM : Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL : The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
He was dead!

Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
He was tied to the first monkey!

Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
He thought it was a game!

Why did the tree fall over?
He thought he was a monkey!

What would Dharmendra say to Hema Malini if he wants to tell her to call him up...?
..... Ring De Basanti


A dentist was examining a patient having a highly contageous deadly disease....As soon he opens the patients mouth the disease gets transferred to the doctor... how??
..... Because the patient had a bluetooth!!


wat is one word in english for kiye karaye par paani ferna??
..... flush!!


three cockroaches were going on the road, suddenly one of them started singing the song -- AASHIQ BANAYA AAPNE. Few mins later, all the three cockroaches died......any idea why??
..... COZ the song is HIT

What does an African Elephant have for lunch?
An hour, like all the other animals!

What´s gray and goes around and around?
An elephant in a washing machine.

What's the difference between a ginger nut biscuit and an elephant
An elephant doesn't fall apart when you dunk it your tea.

What's more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant in a mini?
Getting an elephant pregnant in a mini.

How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
Ever seen a yellow elephant?!!!

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a mountain climber?
Zero - a mountain climber is a scaler.

Why is an elephant large, grey, hairy and wrinkley?
'Cos if they were small, white, hairless and smooth, it'd be an aspirin

Why did did the lettuce blush ?
Because he saw the salad dressing.

How do you get an elephant into the fridge?
Open Door, Insert Elephant, Close Door.

How many elephants can you actually put in a fridge?
Depends on how many elephants you have to hand.

The lion, the king of the jungle, decided to have a party. He invited all the animals in the jungle, and they all came except one. Which one?
The elephant, because he was still in the fridge.

How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge?
Footprints in the butter.

How do you know if there are 2 elephants in your fridge?
Two sets of footprints in the butter.

How do you know if there are 3 elephants in your fridge?
Can't get the fridge door closed.

How do you know if there are 4 elephants in your fridge?
There's a mini parked outside it.

How do you get 8(!) elephants in a fridge?
Put four in a mini, four in another mini, put the two mini's in the fridge.
A fridge large enough to hold two elephants can surely hold two mini's!

How do you get Tarzan in the fridge?
Open door, get two mini's out, put Tarzan in, close door.

How do you know Tarzan is in the fridge?
you can hear Tarzan scream OYOYOYOIYOIYOOOOOO

How do you get two Tarzans in the fridge?
You can't, silly. There is only one Tarzan!

Why are there so many elephants running around free in the jungle?
The fridge isn't large enough to hold them all.

:lol:  :lol:  :lol:

Though....wanted sum1 elz 2 wIn. :wink:

Q: How do u CUT roads??
A: By LAUGHING..... Because "Haste haste cut jaye raste".

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Q: What's Ford?
A: Gaadi.
Q: What's Oxford?
A: So simple, Bail Gaadi

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Q: Whats difference between a man jumping from 1st floor and a man jumping
from 10th floor?
A: Former goes (hit) aaaaaaaaa, the later goes aaaaaaaaa (hit)

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Q: Other than being fruits, what is common between an apple and an orange?
A:They both are not a banana !!

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Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.

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Santa went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the operator twice.
Guess why ?
Because there it was written "Number dial karne se pehele do lagae"