biggest joke:SMS , mobile & JOKES

bekarar

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WHY BILL GATES DECIDES TO SELL OFF MICROSOFT?

Letter from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. One doubt is whether any’re-scooter' is available in system? I find only’re-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?

5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?

6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in

that.

7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Regards,

Banta

Last one to Mr. Bill Gates:

Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?


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Sonia01

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Re: biggest joke

«Reply #1 on: May 27, 2008, 02:37:15 AM »

bekarar jee.... pehla wala accha tha... but I think not suitable to post it in this forum.... I had not read such types of Adult jokes.


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bekarar

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Re: biggest joke

«Reply #2 on: May 28, 2008, 10:48:18 AM »

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.

The road to success…….. is always under construction.

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk..

In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.

Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.

Everyone has a scheme of getting rich….. which never works.

If at first you don't succeed…. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.

Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.

***** 42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot. *****

As soon as you mention something…… if it is good, it is taken…. If it is bad, it happens.

He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.

If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late…… the bus is still late.

Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.

If you have paper, you don't have a pen……. If you have a pen, you don't have paper…… if you have both, no one calls.

Especially for engg. Students----
If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.

You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.

All PMT buses are crowded.
Corollary--- -- PMT buses in opposite direction always go empty.

The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.

After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.

If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.

The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all the errors until another person is fired or quits.

Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker ……………


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bekarar

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Re: biggest joke

«Reply #3 on: May 30, 2008, 05:56:36 AM »

Dear banta
Vahe Guru !

I am in a well here and hoping you are in the same well there. I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles.

I wont be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to bring our earlier address plate here, so that our address will remain same too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the commode. I'm not sure it works. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.

By the way I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is really badmash. He told her that two-piece swimming suit is not allowed in this club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, Jetinder fell in a nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill his father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried at sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father.

There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

P.S: Beta, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter.
laughing4


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bekarar

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Re: biggest joke

«Reply #4 on: June 02, 2008, 10:57:16 AM »

Interviewer: what s ur qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.

Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.. .

~~~~~~~~


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bekarar

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Re: biggest joke

«Reply #5 on: June 02, 2008, 11:00:47 AM »

Interviewer: what s ur qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.

Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.. .

~~~~~~~~

A sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the
exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' .

He replaced friend with father in the essay and>it read: AM A VERY
FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS,

SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE FATHER IS MY
NEIGHBOUR.

~~~~~~~~~

A sardar on an interview 4 DA post detective.

Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?

Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start
investigating. ......

~~~~~~~~~

2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.

Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.

Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760


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Pooja

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Re: biggest joke

«Reply #6 on: June 02, 2008, 04:32:56 PM »

Quote from: bekarar on June 02, 2008, 10:57:16 AM

Interviewer: what s ur qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.

Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.. .

~~~~~~~~


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bekarar

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Re: biggest joke

«Reply #7 on: June 05, 2008, 12:25:01 PM »

Part 1
A parrot goes to a shopkeeper and asks ... 'Aam hai kya?'
The shopkeeper says ... 'Nahi. Hum Aam nahi bejte.'
Next day at the same time, the parrot goes again and asks him ...'Aam
hai kya ?'
He gets a little irritated and says... 'Aare Bola na, Hum 'Aam nahi
Bechte'
On the third day, the parrot goes again and asks him 'Aam hai kya ?'
He gets wild and yells ...'Bola na naahi. Abhi vapas aaya to hathoda
marunga
sar ke upar'
The next day,the parrot comes again and asks him ..'hathoda hai kya ?'
The shopkeeper says ... 'Nahi'
The parrot then asks ... 'Aam hai kya ?'

Part-2

The next day parrot again goes to shopkeeper and asks
"Aam hai kya??"
The shopkeeper is ready now....
He quickly pulls a hammer and hitz the parrot on the face.
The parrot looses all his teeth
But determined, parrot again goes 2 the shopkeeper next day n asks

Scroll Down
---

---

---

"AAM KA JUICE HAI KYA???"


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bekarar

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Re: biggest joke

«Reply #8 on: June 05, 2008, 12:28:05 PM »

Some W a c k y Quotes

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an
hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S
relativity.
- Albert Einstein

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working
the moment you get up in the morning and does not
stop until you get into the office.
- Robert Frost

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's
there to appreciate it.
- Franklin P. Jones

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain
the success of those we don't like?
- Jean Cocturan

It matters not whether you win or lose; what
matters is whether I win or lose.
- Darrin Weinberg

Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome.

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will
remember you when he is
in trouble again.

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand
wrong answers.

It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it
creative problem solving.

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know
where to shop.

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again,
neither does milk.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to
shoot them.

Forgive your enemies but remember their names.

The number of people watching you is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Dont worry that the world ends today, its already
tomorrow in Australia!

So, Keep Smiling!!!


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bekarar

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Re: biggest joke

«Reply #9 on: June 05, 2008, 12:37:58 PM »

10 LAWS OF COMPUTING

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though
you meant it to happen.

2. When you get to the point where you really
understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.

3. The first place to look for information is in the
section of the manual where you'd least expect to find
it.

4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.

5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite
malfunction.

6. To err is human...to blame your computer for your
mistakes is even more human, its downright natural.

7. He who laughs last, probably has a back-up.

8. The number one cause of computer problems is
computer solutions.

9. A complex system that doesn't work is invariably
found to have evolved from a simpler system that
worked just fine.

10. A computer program will always do what you tell it
to do, but rarely what you want it to do.


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Sonia01

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Re: biggest joke

«Reply #10 on: June 05, 2008, 12:48:06 PM »

Quote from: bekarar on June 02, 2008, 11:00:47 AM


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Pooja

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Re: biggest joke

«Reply #11 on: June 05, 2008, 02:58:07 PM »

nice sharing Bekarar ji!!


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bekarar

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Re: biggest joke

«Reply #12 on: June 19, 2008, 06:11:25 PM »

Manmohan Singh and Bush are sitting in a bar.
A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Manmohan?" .
The barman says "Yes, thats them."
So the guy walks over and says,"Hello, what are u guys doing?"
Bush says, "We're planning world war 3"
Guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Manmohan says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million
Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman."
The guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!"

Manmohan turns to Bush and says, " See, I told you no-one would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"


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Sonia01

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Re: biggest joke

«Reply #13 on: June 20, 2008, 06:38:20 PM »

hahaha... nice joke bhaiya


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Pooja

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Re: biggest joke

«Reply #14 on: June 26, 2008, 03:44:13 PM »

Banta orders pizza.
Waiter: Sir shud **I cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?
BANTA: 4 hi karde 8 khaye nahi jayenge


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