coca cola..

this is a fwded mail---

What If Titanic sank Today?
Reaction from different countries:

U.S.A:
"A ship coming to Freedom was attacked by terrorists.
We will not sit quiet and we will teach them a lesson.
Bin Laden you can run but you cannot hide we will find
you and destroy your Al-Qaeda network."
(President Bush........whoelse?)

U.K:
"I have spoken to the President of United States and
we have both agreed that the sinking of Titanic is
significant prove that Saddam Hussein is clearly
behind this attack, Iraq is imposing a threat to the
world and this has to be dealt with."
(Prime Minister Blair)

Iraq:
"LOL!!!" (President Saddam Hussain)

Israel:
"These Hamas and other terrorist network is enough
evidence to say that sinking of Titanic is not an
accident but it was their suicide bombers who have
commited such a crime.We will now impose curfew on the
Palestinians, detain them, exile them, kill them,
starve them, destroy their homes and refugee camps."
(Ariel Sharon....bastard)

Canada:
"Titanic who?" (Canadian Prime Minister)

India:
"Is mein Pakistan ka haath hai. We have received
passports of Pakistani extremists from the Titanic
debris. Pakistanis will have to pay for such
horrendous act of terrorism. We are now deploying more
soldiers to the border."
(Prime Minister Vajpayee)

Pakistan:
"Sind may Double Sawari per ghair muayyana muddat ke
liye pabandi"
(President Musharraf)

UN:
"Shit happens right??"
(Sec.Gen. Kofi Annan)

Survivors:
"Uhh. Helllooo. Is anyone listening...it was an iceberg..hellloooooo."

Three Construction workers are working on the 20th floor of a tall
building in Bombay. One is a Mallu, the second is a Bengali and the third is a
 Sardarji.  Every day all the three meet in the lunch hall and have their
 lunch together  One fine day -- the Mallu opened his lunch box and finds
 idlis in the box. He says " I am fed up of eating these idlis daily. If I
 find idlis in the box tommorow, i will jump from the 20th floor and die".

 Next the Bengali opens his lunch box and finds Fish in it and says  IfI
find  fish in my lunch box tommorow, I am going to jump from the 20th floor of
 this building and die"

 Next the Sardarji opens his lunch box and finds Parathas in it and
 says"Mother promise, if I find parathas in my box tommorow I am also going
 to jump from the 20th floor"
 Next day the three friends meet in the lunch room for lunch. Mallu opens
his  lunch box and finds Idlis and promptly jumps from the 20th floor and dies.
 The Bengali opens his lunch box and finds fish in it and jumps from the
20th  floor and dies. Sardarji opens his box and finds parathas and he also
jumps  from the 20th floor and dies.

 In the combined funeral held for all the three friends by their
colleagues,  the Mallu's widow says "I did not know he hated idlis so much.
 If not I would have packed something else for his lunch" The Bengali's
widow  says  "I did not know he hated fish so much. If not I would have packed
 something else for his lunch"
 
 The sardarji's widow says "I do not understand what went wrong. My husband
 always prepared his own lunch!

80,000 Sardarji's meet at the Jalianwala Bagh for a "Sardarjis Are Not Stupid Convention."

Santa Singh, the emcee says, "We are all here today to prove to the World that Sardarjis are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"

One Sardarji steps up.

Santha Singh asks him, "What is 15 plus 15?"

After 15 or 20 seconds, he says, "Eighteen."

Obviously, everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 sardarjis Start Cheering, "Give him another chance, give him another chance."

Santha Singh says,"Well, since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you here And the world wide press, I guess we can give him another chance." So he says, "What is 5 plus 5?"

After nearly 30seconds, the sardarji eventually says, "Ninety?"

Santha Singh sighs - everyone is crestfallen and the sardarji starts crying.

80,000 sardarjis start yelling, "Give him another chance, give him another chance."

SanthaSingh, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says,"Ok! One more chance. What is 2 plus 2?"

The sardarji closes his eyes and after a whole minute eventually says "Four."

Around the stadium 80,000 sardarjis start yelling "Give him another chance, give him another chance."

Sardarji was searching for a job but received no calls from India. He did however receive a letter from a foreign company.

'Oye!', he said, 'This is the first time I've applied and Ive got the job... lets celebrate... get the daaru!'

'So how much salary is it sardarji and tell us more about the job!', his friends ask him.

'English main letter aayeaa hai, main tuhanu translate kar ke sunana haaan .. tau suno kya likhya hai..'

- You Do not meet - tum to milte hi nahin ho... bahut busy ho!

- our requirements - Humhe to bahut zarooorat hai.

- no further correspondence - Aage chitthi patri di jarurat nahin hai, jaise bhi ho jaldi se aa jao

- will be entertained - Bahut khatir ki jayegi!

hehe thnks sanju

hey nishita... very beautiful jokes... from where do u get all this stuff?

A Patel family in gujarat was puzzled when the coffin of their dead
mother arrived from the US. It was sent by one of the daughters. The

The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space
left in it When they opened the lid , they found a letter on top,
which read: Dear brothers and sisters, I am sending our mother's body
to you, since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the
compound of our ancestral home in GUJARAT. Sorry, I could not come along as
all of
my paid leave are all consumed.

You will find inside the coffin, under Ba's body, 12 cans of
cheese, 10 packets of chocolates and 8 packets of Badam. Please divide
these among all of you. On Ba's feet you will find a new pair of
Reebok shoes(size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for
Radha's and Lak shmi's sons. Hope the sizes are correct. Ba is wearing 6
American T-Shirts.The large size is for Mohan. Just distribute them among
yourselves.

The 2 new Jeans that Ba's is wearing are for the boys.
The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba's left wrist.
Shanta Aunty, Ba is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you
asked for.

Please take them off her. The 6 white cotton socks that Ba is wearing
must be divided among my teenager nephews.
Please distribute all these uniformly and if anything more required
let me know as Bapa is also not feeling too well nowadays...

Your loving sister,
Radhika