....~~count how many times ~~....:SMS , mobile & JOKES

how many times you have listen this in hindi films

The classic:

"main tumhaare bachche ki maan banne waali hoon."

* The eternal reason for being the victim of anything that can
happen to you in
hindi films :" Mai gareeb hoon na , isliye ...."

* A main character in the movie will go to the temple and say :
"Bhagwan mainey tumse aaj tak kuch nahin maanga....."

* Old hindi movie :
"Aiye ji sunte ho.. Aap bade woh hein."

* Lover-girl to leaving lover-boy :
"Mai tumhare bina nahin jee sakti "

* "Kanoon ke haath bahut lambe hote hein"
&
* "Rukjao! kanoon ko apne haath mein mat lo"

* Judge announcing his decision in filmi court :
"Gawaaoon key bayaanat aur saboot ko madde nazar rakhtey
Taz-e-raat-e-hind, dafaa 302 ke tahet , muzrim ko sazaaye maut di jaati hai"

* " Muzrim ko ba-izzat bari kiya jaata hai"

* " Main is Geeta per haath rakhkar yeh saugandh leta hoon ki jo bhi
kahoonga sach kahoonga, aur sach ke siva kuch nahin kahoonga."

* "Inspector! Giraftaar karlo issey"

* " Raam Raam kaaka"

* " Jug Jug jiyo beta "

* " Ab hum kisi ko muh dikhaane ke layak nahin rahe"

* " Kya issi din ke liye tujhe paal pos ke bada kiya tha?"

* Typical farmer ka dialogue :
" mainey is zameen ko apne khoon sey seencha hai "

* Hero/heroine after opening their eyes in the hospital :
" Main kahan hoon?"

* " Hum jahaan khade hote hein, line wahin sey shuru hoti hai"

* " Mai kahti hoon, Door ho jaa meri nazron sey"

* "Is ghar ke darwaaze, tumhare liye hamesha ke liye band hein"

* A Prem-Chopra-type villian to the heroine/village belle :
" In gori gori kalaiyon ko kaam karne ki kya zaroorat hai"

* " Chhod do mujhe, bhagwaan ke liye chhod do"

* " Maine tumhe kya samjha, Aur tum kya nikley!"

* doctor :
" Ab Sab oopar waale key haath mein hai"

* The doctor to the paitent's near n' dear one :
" I'm sorry, hum kuch nahin kar sakey"

* doctor : " Chowbees ghante tak hosh nahin aiya to ..... "

* " Agar Maa ka doodh piya hai to saamne aa."

* " Jyaada hoshiayari karne ki koshish maat karna "

* Amitabh in a hajaar movies :
" Nahin chhodunga tujhe. Jaan sey maar daaloonga."

* " Bhagwaan pe bharosa rakho. Sab thik ho jaiye ga"

* " Woh ek gandi naali ka keeda hai"

* A heroine's expression of what love does to her :
" Mera dil dhak-dhak karta hai "

* " Ajji sunte ho , munna ke pitajee "

* Rich father to son : " Ek phooti kaudi nahin doonga "

* " Zamaane ne thokar laga-laga ke is dil ko paththar bana diya"

* Dharmendra in a hajaar movies : " Kutte! Kamine ! ....."
" Yeh Taklooooo!"

* Lalita Pawar in a hajaar scenes : " Chudeil! Kide pade tere ....."

* Best way to threaten someone from doing anything against your
wishes :
" Agar tumhe maine yeh karne diya, to mera naam ______ nahin"
" Tumne yeh kiya, to mujhse bura koi nahin hoga "

* " Woh kutte ki maut marega "

* " Bol! Bol heere kahan chuppa rakhe hai "

* The favoirite emotional blackmail :
" Tune yeh kiya to tu mere mara muh dekhegi "

* Inspector Iftekar on a megaphone :
" Apne aap ko police ke hawaale kar do. Police ne chaaron taraf
sey tumhe gher liya hai "
" Apne hathiyaar phenk do "

* The classic : " Thairo! Yeh shaadi nahin ho sakti !"

* One of the very best : " Mai tere bachche ki maa banne waali hoon
"

* "Jurm ki duniya ka betaaj badshah ... Kaaliya/Don/whatever "

* Tikku Talsaniya in a hajaar movies " Ouff! Yeh kya ho raha hai "

* Keshto in a million movies " Hi-HEEYAAHH!"

* Shatru a hajaar times " Abbe ChaparGanju! "

* The villian's sidekick : "Boss! Maal pakda gaya "

* "Jo sheeshe ke gharon mein rehne hein, woh doosron pe paththar
nahin
phenkte"

* "Hum woh hein jo paththar ko kaanch se tod liya karte hein"

* All filmi chowkidaars : " Shhalaam Shhaab!"

*- The stereotypical announcer : " Bhaiyon aur behnon ...." "
Ladies and
Gentelmen ..."
- Mehmood, the announcer : " Ladies and Ledas ...."

* " Har kutte ka din aata hai "

* " Mai tumahara aihsaan zindagi bhar nahin bhoolonga"

* " Itnay paise tum kahan sey laiye ?"

* " Bacchhhhaaaooooooooooo......."

* " Police mere peeche lagi hui hai .."

* " Tum mere liye mar chuke ho "

* " Ghar mein do-do jawaan betiyaan hein"

* " Lo! - Muh meertha karo "

* " Hato naa! Log kya kahenge "

* " Khabardaar jo mujhe haath bhi lagayaa .."

* " Aarre! isse to tez bukhaar hai "

* " Maa tum kitni achi ho"

* " Bhaiyaaa!"

* " Yeh aap kya keh rahen hein, bhai sahab?"

* " Aaj Pinky ka janam din hai"

* " Gurkha, isse dhakke maarke bahar nikaal do "

* " Mai yeh tumhaara aihsaan zindagi bhart nahin bhoolonga"

* "Yeh anyay hai Bhagwan"

* "Driver, gaadi roko"

* " pulice ko tum jaise naujawaanon per naaz hai"

* "Ab tumhari maa hanmare kabze mein hai "
" Agar tum paanch llaakh leker, silver beech ke puraney killey pe
nahin
aiye, to mai usse bum se udaa doongaa"

* " Goli se udaa do usse"

* Nirupa roy's favourite " Ek baar mujhe maa kehkar pukaro beta"

* Gracious father taking the blame for his son :
" Yeh khoon maine kiya hai, melod!"

* " Bhaagne ki koshish mat karna"

* " ... mujhe tumhaare is behte hue khoon ki kasam ...."

* " Yeh sauda tumhe bahut mehnga padega"

* Dumb looking hero coming to blind mom :
" Maa, mai first class first pass ho gaya hoon"

* "Beti, tu to paraya dhan hai "

* "Pesh hai duniya ke jaane-maane kalakaar, Miss Renu"

* " Zabaan ko lagaam do .."

* The hindi film unnux :
" Aaja re mere raaja "

* On a suhaagraat nite, wife to husband :
" Doodh pee lijiya"

* " Seedhi Anguli se ghee nikalne waala nahin"

* " Hume tedi anguli se ghee nikaalna aata hai"

* " Kutte ki dum tedi-ki-tedi hi rehti hai "

* " Bhabhi, tumhare haath ki chai peene ko man kar raha hai "

* Dharmendra : " Chun Chun ke maaroonga, ek-ek ko chun chun ke
maroonga "

* " Tune mere peeth pe chura bhoka hai "

Specific dialogues :
---------------------

* Hapless victim: " Bhagwaan ke liye mujhe chhod do!"
Shakti Kapoor : " Aaare bhagwaan ke liye chhod doon to mai kya
karoon?
prasaad khaoon?"

* Utpal Dutt to his daughter in GolMaal :
" Tumhari shaadi usse nahin hogi jisse tum pyaar karti ho, balki
usse hogi
jisse mai pyaar karta hoon."

Here are ten more contributed by "HumTum"

1. Yahan teri izzat bachane koi nahi ayega

2. Kanoon jazbaat nahi, saboot dekhti hai

3. judge sahab, maine khoon nahi kiya.

4. kash tum mera yakin kar sakti

5. mein kisi ke muh dikhane kabil nahi rahi

6. ham barbad ho gaye

7. ghar mein jawan beti hai ........

8. tumhare khyal kitne neech hain

9. Tum mujhe galat samajh rahi ho....kash mein sachchai bata sakta