defination of Ph.D.

The following list of phrases and their definitions might help to
understand the mysterious language of a Ph.D. dissertation,
an
academic paper, or trying to meet an engineering requirement.

"IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN"... I didn't look up the original
reference.

"A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT"... These data are practically
meaningless.

"WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO
THE
QUESTIONS"... An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get
it
published.

"THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY"... The
other results
didn't make any sense.

"TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN"... This is the prettiest graph.

"THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT"... I might
get around to
this sometime, if pushed/funded.

"IN MY EXPERIENCE"... Once

"IN CASE AFTER CASE"... Twice

"IN A SERIES OF CASES"... Thrice

"IT IS BELIEVED THAT"... I think.

"IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT"... A couple of others think
so, too.

"CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE"... Wrong.

"ACCORD1NG TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS"... Rumor has it.

"A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE
FINDINGS"... A wild guess.

"A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA"... Three pages of
notes were
obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer.

"IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE
A COMPLETE
UNDERSTANDING OF THISPHENOMENON OCCURS"...I don't understand it.

"AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES"... They don't understand
it
either.

"THANKS ARE DUE TO JOE BLOTZ FOR ASSISTANCE WITH THE EXPERIMENT
AND TO
CINDY ADAMS FOR VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS"... Mr. Blotz did the work
and Ms.
Adams explained to me what it meant.

"A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY"... A totally
useless
topic selected by my committee.

"IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER 1NVESTIGATION
IN THIS
FIELD"..... i quit!

ha ha ha:D:D:D LOLZ