joke bajaar............

Once upon a time, in a nice little forest, there lived a blind little bunny and a blind little snake. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.

"Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. In fact, I don't even know what I am."

"It's quite okay," replied the snake. "Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth. Tell you what, maybe I could kinda slither over you, and figure out what you are, so at least you'll have that going for you."

"Oh, that would be wonderful," replied the bunny.

So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches, and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny."

"Oh, thank you! Thank you," cried the bunny in obvious excitement. The bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you with my paw, and help you the same way you've helped me."

So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're scaly and smooth, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls. I'd say you must be either a politician, an attorney, or possibly someone in
upper management!!!"

:D:D:D

A police inspector from Bihar catches a thief & asks the Constable to write the F.I.R.

The thief was a Bengali.

Constable: Kya naam hai?

Thief: Chatterjee

The inspector overhears their conversation & gets furious

Inspector: " Chup saale ek to chori karta hai uparse ji lagta hai ! Sirf Chatter likh " (instructs the constable)

Three guys were riding on a bike.
Traffic cop stopped them & shouted : Don't you know this is against the traffic rules?
                         
What are your names? He asks

The 1st one says Sir " I am Ram "

The 2nd one says " I am Laxman "

The 3rd one says " I am Bharat "

Before the 4th one could say anything the traffic cop turns towards him & say " You must be Shatrughan "

Excited all the boys ask " Yes sir but how do you know that...? "

Traffic cop: " Coz I am Ravan "

A usual inspection was about to happen in a village school. The teacher had instructed the students a day before that they should come to school with thorough preparation.

The inspector visits the classroom & asks 1 student: Batao Parshuram ka dhanush kisne toda tha?

The students gets nervous, he stands up shaking & says: Masterji main bhagwan kasam khata hun maine nahi toda!

The inspector looks at teacher in astonishment.

The teacher comes close to the inspector & whispers in his ears: Pointing towards a student the teacher says " Sir mujhe lagta hai Mukesh ne hi toda hai! Class ka sabse saitan bachcha hai aur iski ungliyon pe dekho nishan bhi hai! "

guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I want you to give me 12-year scotch, and don`t try to fool me because I can tell the difference."
The bartender is skeptical and decides to try to trick the man with 5-year scotch. The man takes a sip, scowls and says, "Bartender, this crap is 5-year scotch. I told you I want 12-year scotch."
The bartender tries once more with 8-year scotch. The man takes a sip, grimaces and says, "Bartender, I don`t want 8-year scotch like this filth. Give me 12-year scotch!"
Impressed, the bartender gets the 12-year scotch, the man takes a sip and sighs, "Ah, now that`s the real thing."
A disgusting, grimy, stinking drunk has been watching all this with great interest. He stumbles over and sets a glass down in front of the man and says, "Hey, I think that`s really far out what you can do. Try this one."
The man takes a sip and immediately spits out the liquid and cries, "Yechhh! This stuff tastes like piss!"
The drunk`s eyes light up and he says, "Yeah, now how old am I?"

Father : How was english exam?

Son: Good

Father: Show me your question paper

After reviewing the question paper father asks " & what did you write in the essay 'MY FATHER'

Son: I wrote my father is a washerman

Father get angry & shouts: I am a Police Commissioner & wrote bloody Washerman...?

Son: Daddy I didn't knew the spelling of Commissioner

Soon after winning the party nomination for a safe seat a politician dropped dead. On hearing the news, another party member moved swiftly to get the seat.

He rang the party president and said, “You probably don’t know yet that old Bert is dead. Would it be all right with you if I took his place?”

“Yes, that’s okay by me,” said the president, “as long as it’s okay with the undertaker.”