Jokes................ (Jasbir Singh):SMS , mobile & JOKES

jasbirsingh

Guest

Parvinder and Habib are beggars in UK. They beg in different areas of London .
Habib begs just as long as Parvinder but only collects £2 to £3 every day.
Parvinder brings home a suitcase FULL of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.
Habib says to Parvinder 'I work just as long and hard as you do but how do you bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day?'
Parvinder says, 'Look at your sign, what does it say'?
Habib's sign reads 'I have no work. I have a wife and 6 kids to support'.
Parvinder says 'No wonder you only get £2- £3
Habib says... 'So what does your sign say'?
Parvinder shows his sign....
It reads, 'I only need another £100 to move back to Pakistan

JASBIR SINGH
hira_company@yahoo.com


	Logged

Similar Poetry and Posts (Note: Find replies to above post after the related posts and poetry)
	YEH SACH HAI ...............(Jasbir Singh) by jasbirsingh in Shayri-E-Dard « 1 2 3 All »
	KNOW UR Value.................. (Jasbir Singh) by jasbirsingh in Inspirational Stories and real life Incidences.
	SMS ..... (Jasbir Singh by jasbirsingh in SMS , mobile & JOKES
	GUM ... (Jasbir Singh) by jasbirsingh in Shayri-E-Dard « 1 2 All »
	Why Sardar Jokes ??... (Jasbir Singh) by jasbirsingh in Inspirational Stories and real life Incidences.

Rajesh Harish

Guest

Re: Jokes................ (Jasbir Singh)

«Reply #1 on: December 17, 2008, 11:50:42 PM »

Good one Jas


	Logged

cara

Guest

Re: Jokes................ (Jasbir Singh)

«Reply #2 on: December 18, 2008, 12:59:32 AM »

well said,jasbirji


	Logged

jasbirsingh

Guest

Re: Jokes................ (Jasbir Singh)

«Reply #3 on: December 18, 2008, 03:15:17 AM »

Quote from: Rajesh Harish on December 17, 2008, 11:50:42 PM

Good one Jas

Quote from: cara on December 18, 2008, 12:59:32 AM

well said,jasbirji

Thanks Cara
Thanks Rajesh

Jasbir Singh


	Logged

jasbirsingh

Guest

Re: Jokes................ (Jasbir Singh)

«Reply #4 on: December 18, 2008, 03:17:46 AM »

One evening a man walked into a fast-food chicken place and bought a nine-piece bucket of chicken. He took his chicken to the park for a romantic dinner under the moonlight with his lady.

Upon reaching into the bucket, however, he received a surprise. Instead of chicken he discovered what was apparently the restaurant's night deposit - some nine thousand bucks. The young man brought the bucket back to the store and asked for his chicken in exchange for the money.

The manager, in awe of the young man's honesty, asked for his name and told him he wanted to call the newspaper and the local news station to do a story on him. He would become a local hero, an example of honesty and morality that would inspire others!

The hungry man shrugged it off, "My date's waiting. I just want my chicken."

The manager's renewed amazement over the young man's humility almost overwhelmed him. He begged to be allowed to tell the story on the news. At this the honest man became angry with the manager and demanded his chicken.

"I don't get it," the manager responded. "You are an honest man in a dishonest world! This is a perfect opportunity to show the world that there are honest people still willing to take a stand for what is right. Please, give me your name and also the woman's name. Is that your wife?"

"That's the problem," said the young man. "My wife is at home. The woman in the car is my girlfriend. Now let me have my chicken so I can get out of here."

NM


	Logged

jasbirsingh

Guest

Re: Jokes................ (Jasbir Singh)

«Reply #5 on: December 18, 2008, 03:59:03 AM »

A man`s wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. So he walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment.
After they`ve had their fun, he realizes its 3 AM and says, "Oh no, its so late, my wife`s going to kill me. Have you got any talcum powder?"
She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds to rub on his hands and then he goes home. His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty mad.
"Where the heck have you been?!?!"
"Well, honey, its like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking woman there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her."
``Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!"
She sees his hands are covered with powder and..."You damn liar!!! You went bowling again!!!"


	Logged

Pooja

Guest

Re: Jokes................ (Jasbir Singh)

«Reply #6 on: December 19, 2008, 08:16:54 PM »

All jokes are new and good one. Thanks for sharing with us!!


	Logged

Rajesh Harish

Guest

Re: Jokes................ (Jasbir Singh)

«Reply #7 on: December 19, 2008, 08:44:00 PM »

Nice jokes Jas Ji


	Logged

jasbirsingh

Guest

Re: Jokes................ (Jasbir Singh)

«Reply #8 on: December 20, 2008, 08:46:42 AM »

Quote from: Pooja on December 19, 2008, 08:16:54 PM

All jokes are new and good one. Thanks for sharing with us!!

Quote from: Rajesh Harish on December 19, 2008, 08:44:00 PM

Nice jokes Jas Ji

Thanks JI
Thanks Rajesh

Jasbir Singh


	Logged

jasbirsingh

Guest

Re: Jokes................ (Jasbir Singh)

«Reply #9 on: December 20, 2008, 08:47:42 AM »

It is a myth that when a son gets married and a new daughter-in-law arrives in the family, everything changes.

The new wife (progressive Indian woman), was being welcomed at the husband's home in a traditional manner.

As expected she gave a speech, "My dear family,I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family, firstly, my being here does not mean that I would want to change your way of life, your routine. No, I will never do that, never in a million years."

"What do you mean my child?" asked the father-in-law.

"What I mean dad is (looking at her in-laws); Those who used to wash the dishes must carry on washing them. Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it. Those who cooked should not stop at my account, AND Those who used to clean should continue cleaning !!!

"And what are you here for Bahurani?" enquired the mother-in-law.

"AS FOR ME, I'M HERE JUST TO ENTERTAIN YOUR SON !!!"


	Logged

jasbirsingh

Guest

Re: Jokes................ (Jasbir Singh)

«Reply #10 on: December 20, 2008, 08:56:39 AM »

One night, a husband and wife were having a conversation over dinner: Wife: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

Husband: Definitely not!

Wife: Why not - don't you like being married?

Husband: Of course I do.

Wife: Then why wouldn't you remarry?

Husband: Okay, I'd get married again.

Wife: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)

Husband: (makes audible groan)

Wife: Would you sleep with her in our bed?

Husband: Where else would we sleep?

Wife: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?

Husband: That would seem like the proper thing to do.

Wife: And would you let her use my golf clubs?

Husband: She can't use them; she's left-handed.

Wife: - - - silence - - -

Husband: shit.shit.shit.....


	Logged

jasbirsingh

Guest

Re: Jokes................ (Jasbir Singh)

«Reply #11 on: December 20, 2008, 09:02:34 AM »

A drunk walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."
So, the bartender does just that, and hands the man the bill.
The drunk says, "I haven`t got it."
The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws him out into the street. The very next day, the same drunk walks into the bar and once again says, "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."
The bartender figures that he can`t possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice, so he gives him the benefit of the doubt. He pours a round of drinks for the house, has a drink himself, and hands the drunk the bill.
Again, the drunk says, "I haven`t got it."
The bartender can`t believe it. He picks the guy up, beats the living daylights out of him, and then throws him out into the street.
The next day, the same drunk walks back into the same bar and says, "Bartender, buy every one in the house a drink and give me the bill."
In disgust, the bartender says, "What, no drink for me this time?"
The drunk replies, "Nope! You get too violent when you drink."


	Logged

jasbirsingh

Guest

Re: Jokes................ (Jasbir Singh)

«Reply #12 on: December 20, 2008, 09:20:29 AM »

Santa is sitting at the coffee shop, staring morosely into his coffee.
Banta walks in and sits down. After trying to start a conversation several times and getting only distracted grunts, he asks Santa what the problem is.
"Well," said Santa, "I ran afoul of one of those questions my wife asks. Now I'm in deep trouble at home."
"What kind of question?" asked Banta.
"My wife asked me if I would still love her if when she was old, fat and ugly." "That's easy," said Banta. "You just say 'Of course I will!"
"Yeah," said Santa, "that's what I did, except I said 'Of course I DO.'"


	Logged

jasbirsingh

Guest

Re: Jokes................ (Jasbir Singh)

«Reply #13 on: December 20, 2008, 09:27:07 AM »

Osama bin Laden has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don`t know what to do here," the devil says. "You`re on my list, but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I`ll tell you what I`m going to do: I`ve got a couple of people here who weren`t quite as bad as you. I`ll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I`ll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Osama thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil led him into the first room.
In it was Manuel Noriega and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty-handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.
"No," bin Laden said, "I don`t think so. I`m not a good swimmer and I don`t think I could do that all day long."
So the devil led him to the next room. In it was the Ayatollah Khomeini with a sledgehammer and a huge pile of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
"No, I`ve got this problem with my shoulder. I`d be in constant agony if all I did was break rocks all day," Laden commented.
So the devil opened a third door. In it, bin Laden saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was his girl Monica, doing what she does best. Osama bin Laden stared in disbelief and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you`re free to go."


	Logged

jasbirsingh

Guest

Re: Jokes................ (Jasbir Singh)

«Reply #14 on: January 03, 2009, 06:51:26 PM »

Teacher: Can anybody give an example of Coincidence?
Pappu: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.


	Logged

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 5 6

Yoindia ShayariAdab > Fun, Entertainment and Hobbies > SMS , mobile & JOKES > Topic: Jokes................ (Jasbir Singh)