Laloo Prasad:SMS , mobile & JOKES

indianraj_us

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Laloo Prasad Inside the Class :

1) Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
2) Open the windows of the doors. Let the Air Force come in.
3) Cut an apple into two halves - take the bigger half.
4) Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away in the corridor
5) You, meet me behind the class. (meaning AFTER the class ..)
6) Both of u three, get out of the class.
7) Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today.
Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....
9) Take 5 cm wire of any length....

About his family :

1) I have two daughters. Both of them are girls..

At the ground :

1) All of you, stand in a straight circle.
2) There is no wind in the balloon.

To a boy, angrily :

1) I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk ?

[size=18]Giving a punishment :[/size]

1) You, rotate the ground four times...
2) You, go and under-stand the tree...
3) You three of you, stand together separately.
4) Why are you late - say YES or NO ....(?)


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indianraj_us

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Laloo Prasad

«Reply #1 on: July 31, 2004, 01:58:29 PM »

Laloo in Cinema :

Laloo had once gone to a film with his wife Rawdi Devi. By chance, he happened to see one of our servent at the theatre, though the servent did not see them. So the next day at Home... ( to that servent ) - "Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre"


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indianraj_us

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Laloo Prasad

«Reply #2 on: July 31, 2004, 01:59:20 PM »

Once Laloo was coming out of Airport

As there was huge rush at the Airport. The security guard told Laloo "WAIT SIR". Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved on...


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indianraj_us

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Laloo Prasad

«Reply #3 on: July 31, 2004, 01:59:52 PM »

Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas. So he called up the Tourist dept and asked them "Ji could you tell me the time between Patna and Las Begas...". The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo immediately replies "thank you" and puts the phone down.


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indianraj_us

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Laloo Prasad

«Reply #4 on: July 31, 2004, 02:00:23 PM »

At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the
waiter,"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." and the man's companion says, "BAGPIPER, SINGLE." The waiter approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."


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indianraj_us

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Laloo Prasad

«Reply #5 on: July 31, 2004, 02:41:30 PM »

Laloos family planning policy."DONT HAVE MORE THAN TWO CHILDREN IN ONE YEAR"

After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go modelling. Once he enters the herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. Guess the caption!! 'Laloo,third from left!'

Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for
Business Development to Bihar.The Japanese Emissary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated,'Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan.' Laloo was very surprised. 'You Japanese are very inepicient (inefficient),' he stated.'Give me three days and I will turn Japan into the next Bihar!'

A reporter asked Laloo "What the main reason for divorce?"
Laloo replies "Marriage".

When Laloo completed 25 years of his rule over Bihar, he wanted a special postage stamp with his picture on it. He asked Rabri,stressing that it should be world class. The stamps were released,and Lalloo was pleased. But within a couple of days, he began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly,and became furious. He called Rabri and ordered her to investigate the matter. Rabri checked out at several post offices, and then reported to Lalloo Prasad: She said: "The stamp is really world class. The
problem is, our Biharis are spitting on the wrong side."

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite Sometime, Laloo proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend. "It took me only 5 months to do it," Laloo brags.
"Five months? That's too long." the friend exclaims. "You are a fool," Laloo replies."Read the box, It says 5-7 years."


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indianraj_us

Guest

Laloo Prasad

«Reply #6 on: July 31, 2004, 02:46:39 PM »

Bill Clinton decided to 'teach' Laloo English, so he invited him over to the US.
Laloo arrives in full grandeur. Bill announces to the nation
that they should not be disturbed during the tuition inside the Whitehouse,
they are locked up in a room, and Bill starts teaching Laloo
English. Days pass by and weeks pass by, but there is no sign of them
coming out.The whole country and its economy has come to a standstill, and
press, newsreporters from all over the world are waiting outside eagerly
to find the outcome. At last one day, the door opens, and out comes Laloo -
beaming his resplendant white smile, looking cool and unruffled. However,
Bill looks totally dazed, his clothes are torn, his hair is completely
ruffled, and he has scratch marks all over his face.
The shocked reporters ask Bill, "What happened Mr. Clinton ?"
Bill replies : "Ee babua hamar kuch bhi naahi sunat hai !"

Laloo goes to US and Bush shows him the wealth he had aquires from his fathers reign .Laloo is surprised and then he is informed that Bush recieved 10% of every bridge he built .Next year when Bush arrives in Patna nad Laloo shows his wealth ( which is more than Bush's ) , Bush is surprised . He asks Laloo that how did that happened . He says that he just took 100% of all the 100 bridges built infront of his house.


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indianraj_us

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Laloo Prasad

«Reply #7 on: July 31, 2004, 02:49:30 PM »

Raabri was worried whether or not Laloo upon his death made it to heaven, so she decided to try to contact his spirit by having a seance. Sure enough, after the usual mumbo-jumbo of calling to the spirits, Laloo's voice was heard answering, "Hello Raabri, this is meeee..."
"Lalooji," she answered. I just have to know if you're happy there in the afterlife. What's it like there?"
"Ooooooh, it's much more beautiful here than I ever imagined," Laloo answered. "The sky is bluer, the air is cleaner, and the pastures are much more lush and green than I ever expected and above all there is no scam. And the only thing we do, all day long, are eat and sleep, eat and sleep, over and over."
"Thank God, you made it to heaven," his Raabri cried.
"Heaven?" he answered. "What heaven? I'm a buffalo in Punjab."


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indianraj_us

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Laloo Prasad

«Reply #8 on: July 31, 2004, 02:51:16 PM »

Back in the Jahanabad, there were two Yadavs , Laloo and Sadhu. One day, the two were enjoying a strong country in the local thek , when a man walked into the bar with a Brahmin's head under his arm. The barman shakes his hand and says, "I hate Brahmins; last week the bastards burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and killed my children." He then says, "If any man brings me the head of a Brahmin, I'll give him fifty thousand rupees."
The two Yadavs looked at each other and walked out of the bar to go hunting for a Brahmin. They were walking around for a while when suddenly they saw one; Sadhu threw a rock which hit the Brahmin right on the head.
The Brahmin fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a ravine. The two nuts made their way down the ravine where Laloo pulled out a knife to claim their trophy.
Suddenly, Sadhu said, "Lalooji, take a look at this."
Laloo replied, "Not now, I'm busy."
Sadhu tugged him on the shoulder and says, "I really think you should look at this."
Laloo said, "Look, you can see I'm busy. There's Fifty thousand rupees in my hand."
But Sadhu was adamant. "Please, Lalooji, take a look at this."
So Laloo looked up and saw that standing at the top of the ravine were five thousand Ranbir Sainiks.
Laloo just shook his head and said, "Oh . . . my . . . God . . . we're going to be Crorepatis!"


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indianraj_us

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Laloo Prasad

«Reply #9 on: July 31, 2004, 02:54:16 PM »

Laloo, Jayalalitha, and Sonia are on a long flight in an Air Force plane.
Laloo pulls out a 100 Rupee note and says, "I'm going to throw this Rs.100 note out and make someone down below happy."
Jayalalitha, not wanting to be outdone, says, "If that was my 100 Rupee note, I would split it into two Rs.50 notes, throw them down and make two people down below happy." Of course Sonia doesn't want these two candidates to out do her so she pipes in, 'I would instead take one hundred Rs.I notes and throw them out to make 100 people just a little happier.
At this point the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore, comes out and says, "If I throw all three of you out of this plane and I'll make 975 million people happy!"


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indianraj_us

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Laloo Prasad

«Reply #10 on: July 31, 2004, 02:55:01 PM »

Following an especially angry argument, Laloo and Rabri went to bed not speaking to each other.
Needing to arise early the following morning, Laloo left a note on his Rabri's bedside table that said: "Imartee ki Amma, humko kal bhor paanch baje utha dijiyega."
An annoyed Laloo awoke at ten the following morning and rolled stiffly out of bed to see a note on his bedside table: "Barfi ke babuji, paanch baje gaye hai, aapka uthne ka samay ho gaya hai!"


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indianraj_us

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Laloo Prasad

«Reply #11 on: July 31, 2004, 03:11:17 PM »

According to Secret Intelligence reports Laloo has 38 kids. When contacted by this reporter, Laloo said " BJP jhoot kahti hai, hamre 9 bchche hai. kaho to gin ke bataaon". When provoked to count his children Laloo counts, "Ek, Do, teen, char, paanch, che, saat, aath, nau. Bas iske aage ki ginti hame nahi aati".


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indianraj_us

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Laloo Prasad

«Reply #12 on: July 31, 2004, 03:39:32 PM »

Laloo Hamara Neta: What would be changed if Laloo Prasad becomes India's Prime Minister:
(i) National Anthem : Khana Pina Adhik Zaroorat hai...
(ii) National Attire : Dhoti & Kurta
(iii) National Drink : Fresh Buffalo Milk
(iv) National Animal : Buffalo, from Bihar
(v) National Sport : Milking Buffalo (morning) Buffalo Race (evening)
(vi) Corporate Language : Enlish-va
(vii) National Toy : A. K. 58
(viii) National Family Planning Policy : Hum Do, Humare Dozen
(ix) National Documentry Film : Laloo Ban Gaya Gentleman
(x) National Vehicle : Buffalo Cart
(xi) National Recreation : Pro-creation
Laloo's Slogan:
Jab Tak Rahega Samosa Me Aloo, Tab Tak Rahega Hamara P.M. Laloo