Li'l Johny (humor)

Little Johny at his best
Little Johny at his best

TEACHER: Why are you late?
L-JOHNY: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
L-JOHNY: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."


TEACHER: Johny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
L-JOHNY: You told me to do it without using tables!


TEACHER: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
L-JOHNY: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
L-JOHNY: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!


TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
L-JOHNY: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
L-JOHNY: Yesterday you said it's H to O!


TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, Johny, who discovered America?
L-JOHNY: George!


TEACHER: Johny, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
L-JOHNY: Me!


TEACHER: Johny, why do you always get so dirty?
L-JOHNY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.


L-JOHNY: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me To write?
L-JOHNY: Your name on this report card.

TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
L-JOHNY: Don't bite any.


TEACHER: Johny, give me a sentence starting with "I".
L-JOHNY: I is...
TEACHER: No, Johny. Always say, "I am."
L-JOHNY: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."


Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
L-Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday
sametime."

Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's
Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his
father didn't punish him?"
L-Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."


L-Johnny : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
L-Johnny : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?


Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is
green and one is blue with red spots!
L-Johnny: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the
same at home.


Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and
stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
L-Johnny: Brotherly love.


Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before
eating?
L-Johnny : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
Teacher: Johny, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same
as your brother's. Did u copy his?
L-Johnny: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
L-Johnny : A teacher