...~~Only Sardar~~...:SMS , mobile & JOKES

HumTum

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A sardharji photographer focusing a dead body's face in a funeral
function, suddenly all relatives beat him why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"

Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the
branch regularly. A man asks why he does this.
Srdr:"I've been promoted as branch manager."

Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth.................
WHY?
because his doctor advised him "Todays dinner should be light"_-=

One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. U knw
Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will
come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket
match.
All were busy writing except one Sardarji.He wrote "DUE TO RAIN,
NO MATCH!"

Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....

Sardar & his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Sardar says... Drink quickly......
Wife asks why...
sardar says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10

A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR

Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my grandpa who died
peacefuly in his sleep not screamin like all d passengers in d car he
was
driving..

Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!"

Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing ?
He said-im seeing how i look while sleeping

HumTum


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dhadkan

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...~~Only Sardar~~...

«Reply #1 on: April 27, 2005, 11:55:01 AM »

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
................................................. ................ :wink:


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HumTum

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...~~Only Sardar~~...

«Reply #2 on: April 27, 2005, 11:59:50 AM »

Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.

"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs," he replied.

He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and
returned
to tell the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.

"Damn, he recognized me," he thought. he went for a complete disguise
this
time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then
waited a
few days before he again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy
this
TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.

Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"

"Because that's a microwave," he replied.


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HumTum

Guest

...~~Only Sardar~~...

«Reply #3 on: April 27, 2005, 12:35:16 PM »

There was a meeting of all the Sardar freedom fighters. They were planning for a free Punjab. Sonu Singh raised a point, "Oh...we'll take Punjab from India but how would we develop it?"

That was a tough one indeed. Manta Singh had a brainwave... "No problem! We'll attack America, it would take over us and then we would become a State of USA and develop automatically."

All the surds became happy with this very simple solution but an old surd was not. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy. The old surd replied, "THAT'S ALL VERY WELL. WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TOOK OVER AMERICA???"


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HumTum

Guest

...~~Only Sardar~~...

«Reply #4 on: April 27, 2005, 12:36:13 PM »

sardarji is not sleeping with his wife! these days
because somebody had told him that it is wrong to sleep with married women


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HumTum

Guest

...~~Only Sardar~~...

«Reply #5 on: April 27, 2005, 12:38:11 PM »

One day sardarji was sitting in his office on the
thirteenth floor of a
building when a man came running in to his office and
shouted "Boota singh
your daughter Preety just died in an accident" .......
Since Sardarji was in panic. Not knowing what to do
he jumped from his
office window while comming down when he was near the
tenth floor he
remembered he didn't have a daughter named Preety.
when he was near the fifth floor he remembered he was
not married.
when he was about to hit the ground he remembered he
was not Boota Singh.


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HumTum

Guest

...~~Only Sardar~~...

«Reply #6 on: April 27, 2005, 12:40:37 PM »

Once Balwinder Singh attended an interview.
Interviewer: Give me the opposite for Made in India

Balwinder Singh: Destroyed in Pakistan

Interviewer: Keep it up

Balwinder Singh: Put it down

Interviewer: Maximum

Balwinder Singh: Mini Dad

Interviewer: Enough! Take your seat

Balwinder Singh: Don?t take my seat

Interviewer: Idiot! Take your seat

Balwinder Singh: Clever! Don?t take my seat

Interviewer: I say you get out!

Balwinder Singh: You didn?t say I come in

Interviewer: I reject you!

Balwinder Singh: You appoint me

Interviewer: ....!!!!!!!


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HumTum

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...~~Only Sardar~~...

«Reply #7 on: April 27, 2005, 12:42:52 PM »

Kulwant Singh finished his English exam and came out.
His friends asked him how did he do his exam, for that he replied "Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, thought ... and at last wrote - THUNK !!!"


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HumTum

Guest

...~~Only Sardar~~...

«Reply #8 on: April 27, 2005, 12:46:12 PM »

> Santa: What is another difference between a mosquito and a fly?
> Banta: A fly can fly but a mosquito cannot mosquito.
> ======================
> Banta: When did George Washington die?
> Santa: two days before his funeral.
> =======================
> Banta: Tell me five FEROCIOUS animals you can think of........
> Santa: 3 Lions and 2 Tigers.
>
> Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car in a
restricted
area.
> The Judge askd him if he had anything to say in his defence. "They
should
> not put up such misleading notices", said Banta. "It said, FINE FOR
PARKING
> HERE"
>
> ======================
> Santa Singh and Banta Singh were always boasting of their parents
> achievements to each other.
> Santa Singh : Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?
> Banta Singh : Yes I have.
> Santa Singh : Well, my father dug it.
> Banta Singh : That's nothing, have you ever heard of Dead Sea?
> Santa Singh : Yes I have.
> Banta Singh : Well, my father killed it.


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HumTum

Guest

...~~Only Sardar~~...

«Reply #9 on: April 27, 2005, 12:48:14 PM »

Sardar Dhakaan Singh is big hunter. Once he went to a zoo. At that time big tiger escaped from its cage. The zoo officials sent everyone out of the zoo and closed the main gate. Now the tiger is inside the zoo but wandering freely. Zoo people requested sardar to go inside and trap the tiger in a cage. Scared but to avoid insult he went
into the zoo in his jeep carrying a big gun. While driving on one of the zoo's roads, he noticed that the tiger is chasing him. Feeling scared he drove the jeep fast but only to observe that the tiger is very near to the jeep. At that time the road separated into two paths ahead, one to the left and other to the right.Then cleverly, dhakaan put the left indicator on and turned the jeep to the road on right. The tiger runs into the left path.With a sigh of
relief, he drove forward. After some time the roads meet and the ! same situation arises again. once more the road divides into two and this time our sardar is smart enough to put the right indicator on and turned to left. This time the tiger goes into the road on right side. After some time the roads meet again to our sardar's misfortune and the tiger starts to chase him again.
This time the road never divides and our sardar thought the tiger would catch him. Then a brilliant idea struck his mind. He slows down his jeep taking it to the left corner of the road. Then he held his hand outside and a gives signal which is given for vehicles which want to overtake. The tiger this time overtakes his jeep and runs forward.

NOW TELL ME WHAT IS THE MORAL OF THE STORY??

ANSWER BELOW............

MORAL: "There are Sardar Communities in Tigers too".


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HumTum

Guest

...~~Only Sardar~~...

«Reply #10 on: April 27, 2005, 01:46:26 PM »

Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.
Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints like
"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."


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