Rules to give to your Boss!

by main_aisa_hi_hoon on February 06, 2005, 04:30:43 PM
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main_aisa_hi_hoon
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Rules For Work: (Should go over well with your boss.)
Print it out and hang it over your work station...I dare ya!

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

2. If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Even better, hover behind me, and advise me at every keystroke.

3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.

5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is priority. I am psychic.

6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.

7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.

8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.

9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.

10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.

11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager's hell.

12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so many taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.

13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.
nm
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dhadkan
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«Reply #1 on: February 07, 2005, 10:30:51 AM »
When I take long time, I am slow
When my boss takes a long time, He is thorough :twisted:

When I make mistakes, I am lazy
When he doesn't do it, He is too busy :twisted:

When I make mistakes, I am careless
When he makes mistakes, He is human :evil:

When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart
When he does the same, that is initiative :x

When I please my boss, I am apple-polishing
When my boss pleases his boss, He is co-operative :twisted:

When I do good, My boss never remembers
When I do wrong, He never forgets. :evil:  
and
 
The Boss is one who is always early when you are late, and late when you are early
 :cry:
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Friend_4uall
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«Reply #2 on: February 07, 2005, 12:19:51 PM »
Very good.....
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Delicate_Doll
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«Reply #3 on: February 07, 2005, 03:38:04 PM »
nice both:)
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main_aisa_hi_hoon
Guest
«Reply #4 on: February 07, 2005, 04:08:16 PM »
Quote from: "dhadkan"
When I take long time, I am slow
When my boss takes a long time, He is thorough :twisted:

When I make mistakes, I am lazy
When he doesn't do it, He is too busy :twisted:

When I make mistakes, I am careless
When he makes mistakes, He is human :evil:

When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart
When he does the same, that is initiative :x

When I please my boss, I am apple-polishing
When my boss pleases his boss, He is co-operative :twisted:

When I do good, My boss never remembers
When I do wrong, He never forgets. :evil:  
and
 
The Boss is one who is always early when you are late, and late when you are early
 :cry:


good dhadkan ji Usual Smile
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main_aisa_hi_hoon
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«Reply #5 on: February 07, 2005, 04:08:58 PM »
Quote from: "Friend_4uall"
Very good.....


thanks
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main_aisa_hi_hoon
Guest
«Reply #6 on: February 07, 2005, 04:09:39 PM »
Quote from: "salma4u"
nice both:)


thanks salma ji
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dhadkan
Guest
«Reply #7 on: February 08, 2005, 11:54:42 AM »
Morning Prayer before starting your work

Dear God,

Give me wisdom to understand my boss,
Give me the love to forgive him,
Give me pateince to understand his actions,
But dear god don't present me strength,
Beacuse if u give me strength,
I WILL BREAK HIS SKULL..... :x
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Talat
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«Reply #8 on: February 08, 2005, 04:43:40 PM »
WoW Great Work MAHH n Dhadkan!!! :lol:
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Qutubuddin
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«Reply #9 on: February 09, 2005, 11:33:18 AM »
Great good one all..

Ques...
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main_aisa_hi_hoon
Guest
«Reply #10 on: February 16, 2005, 10:25:46 PM »
Quote from: "dhadkan"
Morning Prayer before starting your work

Dear God,

Give me wisdom to understand my boss,
Give me the love to forgive him,
Give me pateince to understand his actions,
But dear god don't present me strength,
Beacuse if you give me strength,
I WILL BREAK HIS SKULL..... :x


nice  Usual Smile
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main_aisa_hi_hoon
Guest
«Reply #11 on: February 16, 2005, 10:27:33 PM »
Quote from: "Talat"
WoW Great Work MAHH n Dhadkan!!! :lol:


thanks talat ji Usual Smile
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main_aisa_hi_hoon
Guest
«Reply #12 on: February 16, 2005, 10:29:59 PM »
Quote from: "Qutubuddin"
Great good one all..

Ques...


thanks
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dhadkan
Guest
«Reply #13 on: February 17, 2005, 06:20:48 AM »
Arguing with ur boss is like wrestling with a pig in muddy water.
After a while u realise that while u r getting dirty, the pig is actually enjoying it...
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sanya310
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«Reply #14 on: February 25, 2005, 08:17:12 PM »
:lol:
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