sardar Ji

Sardarjee to Sunita: "I want to marry you"
Sunita: "But I am one year elder to you."
Sardarjee: "No Problem, then I will marry you next year."  
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 Q:) Why does sardarji brings binoculorses in his own  marriage?
 A:) to see his far reletavies.
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A sardar was very fond of  sensational and detective novels, but he  always started  reading from the middle. A friend of his asked why he  did  so?" It'z doubly interesting", said the Sardar. "TO start  from the  middle keeps one curious not only about its  conclusion but also about  its beginning .
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Once a Sardarji was going to his office. On the way he slipped on a
 banana peel and was badly hurt. Next day , on his way to the office, he  noticed a banana peel and exclaimed " sala aaj bhi phisalna hoga". Later  after two days, he noticed two banana peels and exclaimed" ari sala, aaj to choice hai"!!!!!!
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A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate
Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in  education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
 1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
 2. How many seconds are there in a year?
 The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...
 1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
 2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
 
Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's  not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you  get only 12 seconds in a year?"
 The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd,  etc...."  Saint Peter lets him in without another word
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Wife: remove my salwar
Sardar: Ok
Wife: remove my kameez.
Sardar: OK
Wife: remove my Bra.
Sardar: Ok
Wife: remove my panties.
Sardar: Ok
Wife: and never wear my clothes again.
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A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I borrowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I ve ever read. There was no story whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!"
The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who took our phone book."

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An Irishman, a Mexican, and a Sardar were doing construction work on the 20th floor of building. They were eating lunch when the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage. If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, Im going to jump off this building." The Mexican opened his lunch box and said, "Burritos again?? If I get burritos one more time, Im going to jump, too." The Surdar opened his lunch and said, "Parathe again.If I get a parathe one more time, Im jumping, too."
The Next Day: The Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death.The Mexican opens his lunch box, sees a burrito and jumps to his death. The surdar opens his lunch, sees the parathe and also jumps to his death.
At the funeral, the Irishmans wife is weeping. She says, "If I had known how tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again." The Mexicans wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas. I didnt realize he hated burritos so much." Everyone turned and stared at the Surdars wife, and she said, "Hey, dont look at me... that dumb-ass used to make his own lunch".

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Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out of the hall. His friends asked him how did he do his exam, to which he replied "Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I really thought, thought, thought hard... and at last wrote - THUNK

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Santa Singh bought two tickets to Connaught Place from Tilak Nagar in a DTC bus in Delhi. The conductor was a bit surprised as he could not see anyone with Santa.
Conductor: "Oye Sardaran! Why do you need two tickets? You are travelling alone?"
Santa Singh: "Dont you know.. pick-pocketing is common on buses... so I will keep one ticket in my shirts left pocket and the other in my right! So even if a pickpocket gets at one of my pockets, I will still have a ticket and will not travel without ticket!"
Conductor: "What if a pickpocket gets both your pockets?"
Santa Singh takes out his wallet from his pant pocket: "I have a monthly pass also!"
Conductor: "And if someone gets your pant pockets also.. then what.. then you will be fined for travelling without ticket!!"
Santa Singh puts his hand inside his shirt and displays his ID card (hanging with a chain around his neck) and says with a cunning smile: "Phir sadda DTC staff hone ka kya fayada!"

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Doctor: I regret to inform you that you have a brain tumor.
Santa Singh: Hey! Is it? Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
Doctor: Listen, do you really understand the implications.
Santa Singh: Yes of course, do you think I'm a dumbhead or a dodo?
Doctor: Then, why on earth, are you so happy to hear that?
Santa Singh: Oh Doc, how do I tell you? I can prove the people wrong now as I do have a brain.

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Santa and Banta Singh were driving together, discussing death.
"I would like to die peacefully, the way my grandfather did. He passed away silently in his sleep. Not like some of his friends who cried hoarse and screamed like hell just before their death."
"But why the hell did they have to shout? Couldn't they all keep silence the way your grandfather did?" asked a curious Banta.
"Actually not," explained Santa. "As they all were travelling in the car he was driving while he fell asleep."

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One day Sardarji is fed up that he is involved in
every joke.
He goes and asks his wife "Tell me one good joke
in which I am not involved."

Wife says: " I'm Pregnant"  :lol:  :lol:

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Nice all..

Sardar went to coffee home with his wife and take on hot coffee after that he said to his wife drink fast she said y? he said hot coffee 6 rs and cold 40 RS :wink:

What is the height of stupidity?
2 sardarjies siitting on motorcycle & fighting  for window seat  :lol:  =============================

ha ha ha ha!!!! Oh My God!!!! Really Good one!!!!!! ha ha ha!!!!!

What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
Run like Hell....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth
 :lol:

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What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back. :lol:
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"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?
 :wink: