Stupid Lawyer Questions!!!

Q:   What is your date of birth?
A:   July fifteenth.
Q:   What year?
A:   Every year.

Q:   How old is your son - the one living with you?
A:   Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q:   How long has he lived with you?
A:   Forty-five years.  

Q:   What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A:   He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q:   And why did that upset you?
A:   My name is Susan.

Q:   And where was the location of the accident?
A:   Approximately milepost 499.
Q:   And where is milepost 499?
A:   Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

Q:   Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
     
Q:   The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
     
Q:   Were you present when your picture was taken?
     
Q:   Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
     
Q:   How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
     
Q:   You were there until the time you left, is that true?
     
Q:   How many times have you committed suicide?

Q:   She had three children, right?
A:   Yes.
Q:   How many were boys?
A:   None
Q:   Were there any girls?

Q:   How was your first marriage terminated?
A:   By death.
Q:   And by whose death was it terminated?

Q:   Can you describe the individual?
A:   He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q:   Was this a male, or a female?

Q:   Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A:   All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q:   Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A:   The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q:   And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A:   No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q:   Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A:   No.  
Q:   Did you check for blood pressure?
A:   No.
Q:   Did you check for breathing?
A:   No.
Q:   So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A:   No.
Q:   How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A:   Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q:   But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A:   It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

Q:   Did he kill you?  
     
Q:   Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?  
A:   I went to Europe, Sir.
Q:   And you took your new wife?

 :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol: