Submit atleast a joke here

A young woman who was worried about her habit of biting her fingernails was advised by a friend to take up yoga. She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally.

Seeing this, her friend congratulated her and said yoga had totally cured her nervousness. "No," she replied, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead.

Lal
Kile pahucha, hotel gaya.
Manager se kaha: "Mujhe room chahiye, satvi
manzil pe."
Manager ne kaha: "Rahane ke liye ya koodne ke
liye?"
Room pahucha, waiter se kaha:
"Ek paani ka gilas milega?"
Usne jawab diya: "Nahi sahab, yahan to saare kanch
ke milte hain."
 
Hotel se nikla, dost ke ghar jaane ke liye,
Raste me ek sahab se pooncha:
"Janab, ye sadak kaha ko jaati hai?"
Janab hans kar bole: "Peechle bees saal se dekh
rahan hoon, Yahi
padi hai... kahin nahin jaati."
 
Dost ke ghar pahucha, to mujhe
dekhte hi chownk pada,
Usne poocha: "Kaise aana hua?"
Ab tak to mujhe bhi aadat pad gayi thi,
Maine bhi jawab diya: "Train se."
 
Meri aaobhagat karne ke liye dost ne apni biwi se
kaha:
"Areeee sunti ho... mera dost pehli baar ghar aaya
hai,
Uuse kuch taja taja khilao."
Sunte hi bhabhiji ne ghar ki sari
khidkiya aur darwaje khol diye.
Kaha: "Taji hawa kha lijiye."
 

Nice collection...

 

Difference between boyfriend and husband

Boy friend is fun,
&
Husband is gun,

Boy friend is light of moon,
&
Husband is month of june,

Boy friend is tooty fruity,
&
Husband is qismat phooti.

Ek sahebji ghabraye hue aaye aur biwi se bole: “Begam, aaj main office se aa raha tha ki raste mein ek gadha…!”

Itne mein unki bachhi bol uthi: “Mummy, Shyam ne meri gudiya tod di hai.”

Pati ne phir kehna shuru kiya “Haan toh begam, main keh raha tha ki raste mein ek gadha…..!”

Itne mein unka ladka bola: “Mummy, Rita ne meri car tod di hai.”

Biwi ghusse mein aakar boli: “Bhagwan ke liye tum sab chup ho jao, mujhe pehle gadhe ki baat sun lene do..!”