Baharain Aa Hi Jaayengi ...... !!! -Panna 4:Tanziya aur Tehreekbaksh Shayariyan

Talat

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«Reply #45 on: March 02, 2009, 12:53:02 PM »

Quote from: Celmira on February 24, 2009, 06:06:54 PM

Ye Shayari Positive Thoughts, Ek Aaas Ko Le Kar Likhi Hai...!!

Shayad Pasand Aaye...!!

Quote from: Ghaafil on February 25, 2009, 11:21:50 AM

Talat jee,

namaste:

sab se pahle ek achchhi tehreer ke liye mere taraf se daad aur mubaaraq baad qubool keejiye.. mujhe aap ki yeh koshish achchhi lagii... sab se khaas baat hai aap ki shaayari me.n har sher ke dono misre(lines) me.n co-realation hona... aur yeh aap ki kaamyaabi hai.. Usual Smile

lekin agar aap thoda sa radeef aur qaafiye ka khaayal kare.ngii to aap ke tehreer aur bhi nikhaar jaayegii...

dheere dheere marasim baDh hi jaaye.nge
TooTe hu'ye rishte bhi juD hi jaaye.nge

ab jaisi kii pahla sher, yahaa.n koii qaafiya nahii.n. lekin aap ne aage ke shero.n me.n qaafiye a khayaal rakkha hai, agar aap shuru ke sher (matle) me.n yeh Khayaal rakhti to, aap ki tehreer aur bhi behtar lagti.. Usual Smile

ummeed hai aap meri baato.n ko sakaartmak Dhangh hi le.ngi..

maine jo kaha woh mera khayaal hai, baaqi aap behtar jaan,ti hai.n Usual Smile

aap ki tehreer achchhi lagii, daad!

Mayank Ji,

Ek baar phir se aapka tah-e-dil se shukriya jo aapne mujhe comments / mashwara diya. Usual Smile

Jahan tak mujhe pata hai (aur meri knowledge bohot mehdood hai !), Qafiya kisi bhi sher ke last word ko kehte hain jab wo ghazal ke doosre sheron ki second line ke last word se rhyme kare...Jaise iss ghazal main Qafiya hai "Jaayenge".

Radeef 2 ya 3 last rhyming words ko kehte hain.....!

To, is nazariye se agar dekhen, to mere pehle sher main qafiya ka khyaal to rakha gaya hai (Jaayenge)....magar Radeef shayad reh gaya hai....!!

Iss ghazal ko likhte waqt pehla sher hi sabse pehle zehan main aaya....isiliye baaqi ke sheron main Radeef (nikhar, guzar, bhar, ghar, bikhar) hain..magar pehle sher main alag hai (Barh/badh; Jurh/Jud).....!!

Aap ki shukrguzar rahungi, Mayank Ji, agar aap iss pe thodi roshni daalen ki main kahan galat hoon.....Yaqeenan, isse mujhe seekhne ko milega.

Shukriya,

Talat


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sajid_ghayel

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Re: Baharain Aa Hi Jaayengi ...... !!!

«Reply #46 on: March 02, 2009, 03:07:26 PM »

Wow bohat achcha laga Mayank aur Celmira ke beech yeh discussion dekh kar, shayed hame bhi kuch seekhne mil jaye.


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divyam

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Re: Baharain Aa Hi Jaayengi ...... !!!

«Reply #47 on: March 02, 2009, 03:41:58 PM »

Quote from: Celmira on March 02, 2009, 12:53:02 PM

Mayank Ji,

Jahan tak mujhe pata hai (aur meri knowledge bohot mehdood hai !), Qafiya kisi bhi sher ke last word ko kehte hain jab wo ghazal ke doosre sheron ki second line ke last word se rhyme kare...Jaise iss ghazal main Qafiya hai "Jaayenge".

Radeef 2 ya 3 last rhyming words ko kehte hain.....!

To, is nazariye se agar dekhen, to mere pehle sher main qafiya ka khyaal to rakha gaya hai (Jaayenge)....magar Radeef shayad reh gaya hai....!!

Iss ghazal ko likhte waqt pehla sher hi sabse pehle zehan main aaya....isiliye baaqi ke sheron main Radeef (nikhar, guzar, bhar, ghar, bikhar) hain..magar pehle sher main alag hai (Barh/badh; Jurh/Jud).....!!

Aap ki shukrguzar rahungi, Mayank Ji, agar aap iss pe thodi roshni daalen ki main kahan galat hoon.....Yaqeenan, isse mujhe seekhne ko milega.

Shukriya,

Talat

Talat jee,

aap ka yeh reply paDha to, pata chala ki aap radif ko qaafiya aur qaafiye ko radif samjh rahii hai.n.. Usual Smile

mai.n aap ko mukhtasar lafzo.n me.n samjhaata huu.n....

Radif: In a Ghazal, the second line of all the Sher's must end with the same words. This repeating common words is the Radif' of the Ghazal.

example:

dheere dheere marasim baDh hi jaaye.nge
TooTe hu'ye rishte bhi juD hi jaaye.nge

in the above couplet, the common repeating word is 'hi jaaye.nge'. this is radif of your Ghazal.

qaafiyaa: it is the rhyming pattern which all the words before 'Radif' must have. In the above example there is no same rhyming word before radif.This is a necessary requirement. Something which is followed even in the exceptions to all these rules. but, in the lateral couplet of your Ghazal, there are same rhyming words nikhar, guzar, bhar, ghar, bikhar etc etc.

khizaa.n ka mausam utar hi jaayega,
ujDe hu'ye gulshan nikahr hi jaaye.nge.

achchha waqt bhi aayega, hausila rahe
bure din jo hai.n chhaaye guzar hi jaaye.nge

zakhm pe hoti hai takhilf to lekin,
zakhm to zakhm hai.n bhar hi jaaye.nge..

lagta hai meri baat ab aap ko samajh me.n aa gayii hogii.....

A Ghazal is combination of five part:

1)radeef
2)qaafiya
3)matla
4)maqta
5)beh'r(wazan)

example my OWN Ghazal:

1) muhabbat karegee asar dheere dheere
'idhar dheere dheere udhar dheere dheere'

2) jhukaatee ho jab tum nazar dheere dheere
miraa dil hai jaataa Thehar dheere dheere

3) "mai.n huu.n bas tumhaarii, tumhaarii rahuu.ngee"
kahaa thaa yeh piichhle pahar dheere dheere

4) huye ham hai.n qurbaan waado.n pe tere
na jaanaa, ai jaanaa.n mukar dheere dheere(q)

5) ye raah-e-muhabbat nahii.n itanee aasaan
sa.nbhal kar mire hamsafar! dheere dheere

6) karoo.n gar Khataa to mujhe tum bataanaa
na tum pher lenaa nazar dheere dheere

7) na khanjar chalaayaa kiyaa phir bhee ghaayal
hasiino.n ka jaanaa hunar dheere dheere

8.) lagee sehl ulfat mujhe ibtidaa me.n
huyee saKht yeh rehguzar dheere dheere

9) huaa diin-o-duniyaa se :Ghaafil: mai.n yaaraa
tujhe dekh kar soch kar dheere dheere

- Mayank

in the above mentioned Ghazal there are 9 couplet(sher)

sher:-It's a poem of two lines. This definition is deceptively simple. Please note that, every Sher is a complete poem in itself ! A Sher does not need, anything around it, to convey the message. in the above example couplet no. 1,2, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 are sher.

couplet. 3 & 4 is a 'qitaa' , it means the poem is completed in 4 lines i.e. couplet no. 3 & 4, both couplet are co-related and it forms a 'qitaa'

RADIF:In a Ghazal, the second line of all the Sher's must end with the same words. This repeating common words is the Radif' of the Ghazal. in the above example radeef is 'dheere dheere' (marked red)

qaafiyaa: it is the rhyming pattern which all the words before 'Radif' must have. In the our example qaafiya is asar, udhar, nazar, Thaher, pahar(word in bold letter) etc etc. This is a necessary requirement. Something which is followed even in the exceptions to all these rules.

Matla: The first Sher in the Ghazal must have 'Radif' in its both lines. This Sher is called 'Matla' of the Ghazal and the Ghazal is usually known after its 'Matla'. There can be more than one 'Matla' in a Ghazal. In such a case the second one is called 'Matla-e-saani' or 'Husn-e-matla'. In our example, the first Sher is the 'Matla'.and the 2nd sher is matla -e-saani. (coz the 2nd sher have both radeef in qaafiya in both lines)

maqta: it's the last sher of the Ghazal, in our example sher no. 9 is Maqta,A shayar usually have a pen name, that is called takhallus, Mirza Asadullakhan used 'Ghalib' as his 'takhallus'. in our example, I have used 'Ghaafil' as a takhallus.

beher:it is the meter of the sher, it may be considered as a length of sher, the meter of every line should be same in a Ghazal. it is the rhythm of a sher which compliments the connecting misra's (lines) of a Ghazal. all the misra's(lines) in a sher and all the shers in a ghazal has to follow the same beher. in the above mentioned example the behr used is 'Mutaqaarib Saalim muccaman' Usual Smile

(you will know it in later part)

you may ask anything you want to know... I will be happy to help you Usual Smile

regards

Mayank


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pandit

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Re: Baharain Aa Hi Jaayengi ...... !!!

«Reply #48 on: March 02, 2009, 04:27:40 PM »

gud one celmira jee..


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Talat

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Re: Baharain Aa Hi Jaayengi ...... !!!

«Reply #49 on: March 03, 2009, 11:46:25 AM »

Mayank Ji,

Tah-e-dil se aapki shukrguzaar hoon, aapne itna waqt diya samjhaane main

Aapne sahi kaha...Main Qafiya Aur Radeef ke beech main confuse ho gayi thi

Aapne jis tarah se apni ghazal ka example de kar ghazal ke baare main samjhaya hai, itne simple words main ye baat batayi ki bohot kuch samajh main aaya hai......

Apne dil ke khyalat aur jazbaat ko words dena achchi baat hai...magar thodi si koshish se agar Shayari main nikhaar aa jaaye to isse behtar kya ho sakta hai

Ab mujhe aap se ek baat poochni hai....

Radeef ghazal ke liye zaroori hai, iska ilm to mujhe tha...par qafiya kitne words ka hona chahiye, iss baare main thoda confusion hai....

Maine jo khaas Shaura Ki ghazlain padhi hai..unmain dekha hai ki Radeef se pehle qafiya 1,2 ya 3 words ke hote hain.......to iss baare main kya Rules hain....Kitne qafiya hona chahiye ek ghazal main ?

Aapke jawab ka intezar rahega,

Talat


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sajid_ghayel

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Re: Baharain Aa Hi Jaayengi ...... !!!

«Reply #50 on: March 03, 2009, 02:06:40 PM »

Subhan_allah Jab samjhane wala Mayank jaisa aur samajhne wala Talat jaisa ho, to us guftugoo ka maza hi alag hota hain. Aap dono ka bohat bohat shukriyaan aaj maine bhi bohat kuch seekha.


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Talat

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Re: Baharain Aa Hi Jaayengi ...... !!!

«Reply #51 on: March 03, 2009, 02:07:43 PM »

Aap ka bhi shukriya Sajid Ji Usual Smile


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divyam

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Re: Baharain Aa Hi Jaayengi ...... !!!

«Reply #52 on: March 03, 2009, 02:17:55 PM »

Quote

Mayank Ji,

Ab mujhe aap se ek baat poochni hai....

Radeef ghazal ke liye zaroori hai, iska ilm to mujhe tha...par qafiya kitne words ka hona chahiye, iss baare main thoda confusion hai....

Talat jee, mujhe ab bhi lag raha hai ki,ab bhi kuchh uljhan hai, aap ke zehn me.n, ya phir mai.n aap ki sawaal ko nahii.n samajh paa raha huu.n... sad5

kyun ki aamtaur par ghazal me.n qaafiye ek hi hota hai, jaise ki maine apni Ghazal me.n samjhaaya hai, aur lagbhag 99% Ghazalo.n me.n ek hi jagah qaafiya baa.nDhaa jaata hai. haa.n, waise bohat se kam Ghazale.n hai.n jahaa.n 2 jagah qaafiye baan.Dhe gaye hai.n, aur 3 jagah kaafiye baanDhe huye Ghazal maine aaj talak nahii.n padhii.. agar aap misaal ke saath apni baat kahe.n to mujhe samjhne me aasaani hogii...

aur Ghazal radeef ke bina bhi hote hai.n, jo sirf qaafiye ke saath hote hai.n, aisi Ghazlo.n ko gair-muraddif Ghazal kahaa jaata hai.. Usual Smile

Quote

Maine jo khaas Shaura Ki ghazlain padhi hai..unmain dekha hai ki Radeef se pehle qafiya 1,2 ya 3 words ke hote hain.......to iss baare main kya Rules hain....Kitne qafiya hona chahiye ek ghazal main ?

mai.n un 'khaas shura' ki Ghazal dekhana chaahunga, tabhi aap ki baat ka jawaab de paau.ngaa.. Usual Smile

shukriyah!

Mayank


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divyam

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Re: Baharain Aa Hi Jaayengi ...... !!!

«Reply #53 on: March 03, 2009, 02:21:32 PM »

Quote from: sajid_ghayel on March 03, 2009, 02:06:40 PM

Subhan_allah Jab samjhane wala Mayank jaisa aur samajhne wala Talat jaisa ho, to us guftugoo ka maza hi alag hota hain. Aap dono ka bohat bohat shukriyaan aaj maine bhi bohat kuch seekha.

saajid jee, aap ka bhi shukriyah jo aap ne isay paDhne me.n waqt diya....... Usual Smile

agar mai.n aage site par na bhii aa sakuuu.n to kam-az-kam yeh thread meri maujudii yahaa.n darj karaata rahega.. Usual Smile

Mayank


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Azeem Azaad

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Re: Baharain Aa Hi Jaayengi ...... !!!

«Reply #54 on: March 03, 2009, 02:37:39 PM »

Bohat BOhat Achche Tareekhe Se Samjhaya Hai Aapne, Mayank JI,.
Is Se Na Hi, Talat Sis KO Faida hai, Balki Sab KO Faida Hai,.
Mujhe Bhi Asaani Hogi, Shayari Ko Samajhne Mien, Thank U,.

Mayank Ji, Talat Sis,.


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Talat

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Re: Baharain Aa Hi Jaayengi ...... !!!

«Reply #55 on: March 04, 2009, 10:55:01 AM »

Quote from: Ghaafil on March 03, 2009, 02:17:55 PM

Talat jee, mujhe ab bhi lag raha hai ki,ab bhi kuchh uljhan hai, aap ke zehn me.n, ya phir mai.n aap ki sawaal ko nahii.n samajh paa raha huu.n... sad5

mai.n un 'khaas shura' ki Ghazal dekhana chaahunga, tabhi aap ki baat ka jawaab de paau.ngaa.. Usual Smile

shukriyah!

Mayank

Mayank Ji,

Shayad main apni baat theek tareeqe se likh nahin paayi aur aapko confusion main daal diya !!

Let me re-phrase my question (with examples; I am just writing 2-3 shers of each ghazal, instead of complete ghazals):

1.

nhiin Khush gumaaniyon men kahiin jaan se bhi na jaao
Wo jo chaaraagar nahin hai use zakhm kyuN dhikhaao

Ye udaasiyon ke mausam kahin raayegaaN na jaayeN
Kisi zakhm ko kuredo kisi dard ko jagaao

Mere hamsafar puraane mere ab bhi muntazir hain
Tumhen saath chornaa hai to abhii se chor jaao

By AHMAD FARAZ

Here ghazal is having just Radeef ('dikhaao', "Jagaao", "jaao") but no qafiya (Am I Right ?)...and Radeef is also not the same word, but it rhymes with "aao"

2.
aa chaa.Ndanii bhii merii tarah jaag rahii hai
palako.n pe sitaaro.n ko liye raat kha.Dii hai

ye baat ki suurat ke bhale dil ke bure ho.n
allaah kare jhuuTh ho bahuto.n se suunii hai

vo maathe kaa matalaa ho ki ho.nTho.n ke do misare
bachapan kii Gazal hii merii mahabuub rahii hai

By BASHIR BADAR

Here Radeef consists of same one word "hai" .... and qafiyah is "khadii", "sunni", "rahii"...

3.
ab ke rut badalii to Khushbuu kaa safar dekhegaa kaun
zaKhm phuulo.n kii tarah mahake.nge par dekhegaa kaun

dekhanaa sab raqs-e-bismal me.n magan ho jaaye.nge
jis taraf se tiir aayegaa udhar dekhegaa kaun

vo havas ho yaa vafaa ho baat maharuumii kii hai
log to phal-phuul dekhe.nge shajar dekhegaa kaun

By AHMAD FARAZ

Here Radeef is "dekhega kaun' ... and qafiya is 'safar', 'par', 'udhar', 'shajar'. So radeef is formed of exactly same 2 words.....

4.
aadamii aadamii se milataa hai
dil magar kam kisii se milataa hai

bhuul jaataa huu.N mai.n sitam us ke
vo kuchh is saadagii se milataa hai

aaj kyaa baat hai ke phuulo.n kaa
rang terii ha.Nsii se milataa hai

By JIGAR MURADABADI

Here Radeef consists of 3 same words 'Se miltaa hai" ...and "qafiya" is "aadmii", "kisii", "sadgii", "hansii"...

So, my question is is there any rule regarding the number of words Radeef should have in each sher in a ghazal ? ...

I hope I have not confused you this time


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divyam

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Re: Baharain Aa Hi Jaayengi ...... !!!

«Reply #56 on: March 04, 2009, 01:32:37 PM »

Quote

shukriyah! Usual Smile

Quote

nhiin Khush gumaaniyon men kahiin jaan se bhi na jaao
Wo jo chaaraagar nahin hai use zakhm kyuN dhikhaao

Ye udaasiyon ke mausam kahin raayegaaN na jaayeN
Kisi zakhm ko kuredo kisi dard ko jagaao

Mere hamsafar puraane mere ab bhi muntazir hain
Tumhen saath chornaa hai to abhii se chor jaao

By AHMAD FARAZ[/size] [/i]

aap agar is Ghazal ko Ghaur se dekhengi to pata chalega ki, yeh Ghazal sirf qaafiye par hai, is me.n radif(same repeating common word) nahii.n hai, is tarah ki Ghazale.n gair-muraddif Ghazal ke naam se jaani jaati hai.n(biina radif waali Ghazle.n) kuchh aur missal de raha huu.n, isi tarah ki Ghazale.n:-

na sochaa na samajhaa na siikhaa na jaanaa
mujhe aa gayaa Khud_ba_Khud dil lagaanaa

zaraa dekh kar apanaa jalwaa dikhaanaa
simaT kar yahii.n aa na jaaye zamaanaa

zubaa.N par lagii hai.n wafaao.n ki muhare.n
Khamoshii merii kah rahii hai fasaanaa

[Meer]

aataa hai yaad mujhako guzaraa huaa zamaanaa
vo baaG kii bahaare.n vo sab ka chah-chahaanaa

aazaadiyaa.N kahaa.N vo ab apane gho.Nsale kii
apanii Khushii se aanaa apanii Khushii se jaanaa

lagatii ho choT dil par, aataa hai yaad jis dam
shabanam ke aa.Nsuuo.n par kaliyo.n kaa muskuraanaa

vo pyaarii pyaarii surat, vo kaamiinii sii muurat
aabaad jis ke dam se thaa meraa aashiyaanaa.

[iqbal]

Quote

Here ghazal is having just Radeef ('dikhaao', "Jagaao", "jaao") but no qafiya (Am I Right ?)...and Radeef is also not the same word, but it rhymes with "aao"

aap phir radif ko qaafiya aur 'qaafiye' ko 'radif' kah rahi hai.n Shocked Even More

, aur isi wazah se mai.n last time aap ki baat nahii.n samjh paaya.. maine aap ko ek aasaan sa tarika baTaata huu.n... Radif: is ka matlab hota hai puu.nch'(tail). jo ki har Ghazal ke sher ke aakhiri me.n hota hai.. puunch ki tarah Usual Smile

common repeating word in every sher after qaafiya is radif

Quote

2.
aa chaa.Ndanii bhii merii tarah jaag rahii hai
palako.n pe sitaaro.n ko liye raat kha.Dii hai

ye baat ki suurat ke bhale dil ke bure ho.n
allaah kare jhuuTh ho bahuto.n se suunii hai

vo maathe kaa matalaa ho ki ho.nTho.n ke do misare
bachapan kii Gazal hii merii mahabuub rahii hai

By BASHIR BADAR

Here Radeef consists of same one word "hai" .... and qafiyah is "khadii", "sunni", "rahii"...

3.
ab ke rut badalii to Khushbuu kaa safar dekhegaa kaun
zaKhm phuulo.n kii tarah mahake.nge par dekhegaa kaun

dekhanaa sab raqs-e-bismal me.n magan ho jaaye.nge
jis taraf se tiir aayegaa udhar dekhegaa kaun

vo havas ho yaa vafaa ho baat maharuumii kii hai
log to phal-phuul dekhe.nge shajar dekhegaa kaun

By AHMAD FARAZ

Here Radeef is "dekhega kaun' ... and qafiya is 'safar', 'par', 'udhar', 'shajar'. So radeef is formed of exactly same 2 words.....

4.
aadamii aadamii se milataa hai
dil magar kam kisii se milataa hai

bhuul jaataa huu.N mai.n sitam us ke
vo kuchh is saadagii se milataa hai

aaj kyaa baat hai ke phuulo.n kaa
rang terii ha.Nsii se milataa hai

By JIGAR MURADABADI

Here Radeef consists of 3 same words 'Se miltaa hai" ...and "qafiya" is "aadmii", "kisii", "sadgii", "hansii"...

So, my question is is there any rule regarding the number of words Radeef should have in each sher in a ghazal ? ...

jee yahaa.n, aap ne jo bhi baat kahii hai, woh sahii hai...... aap ne radif aur qaafiya ki sahii pehchaan ki hai, congrats Usual Smile

aur aap ka jo sawaal hai ki 'radif kitne word tak ka liya jaa sakta hai', to aisa koii rule nahii hai, aap apne marzee se radeef jitna lammba ya jitna chhoTa rakh sakti hai, yeh likhne waale par hi depend karta hai.. Usual Smile

jaise ki yeh Ghazal dekhiye:-

iqraar-e-vafaa, ummeed-e-karam! kuch` keh nah sake, kuch` bh`ool gaYe!
vade voh tire mubham, mubham! kuch` keh nah sake, kuc`h bh`ool gaYe!

sarshaaree-e-ulfat kaa a'alam! kuch` keh nah sake, kuch` bh`ool gaYe
jazbaat kee voh dh`eemee sargam! kuch` keh nah sake, kuch` bh`ool gaYe!

aalaam kee voh yoorish peham! kuch` keh nah sake, kuch` bh`ool gaYe!
Doobee huee nabzoN kaa a'alam, kuch` keh nah sake, kuch` bh`ool gaYe!

yaadoN kee Khalish voh shaam-o-saHar, maayoos se voh deevaar-o-dar
iHsaas kee lau maddh`am, maddh`am! kuch` keh nah sake, kuch` bh`ool gaYe!

kyaa vehm-o-gumaaN, kyaa i'lm-o-yaqeeN, kyaa fikr-o-Gham-e-dunyaa-o-deeN
hastee ke voh saare pech-o-Kham, kuch` keh nah sake, kuch` bh`ool gaYe!
(Sarwar A Raz saahib)

yahaa.n dekhiye, radif kitni lambhi hai, 7 word ki hai Usual Smile

'kuch kah na sake kuchh bhool gaye'

Quote

I hope I have not confused you this time Feared.

shayad is baar, mai.n apni baat sahii Dhang se samjha saka huu.n,aur aap ke saare confusion duur ho gaye ho.nge.. phir bhii, agar koii bhi baat samjh me.n na aaaii ho to, aap beshaq dubaara puuch leejiyegaa...

-Mayank[/size]


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sajid_ghayel

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Re: Baharain Aa Hi Jaayengi ...... !!!

«Reply #57 on: March 04, 2009, 02:27:08 PM »

Ghafil saheb Badr saheb ne yeh ghazal padhne se pehle kaha tha ke radeef hain Kuch bhi nahi to jis hisab se aapne samjhaya hain to Qafiya "sivaa" "khataa" "Likhaa" "Kahaa" "bachaa" "raha" ko hona chahiye.

sochaaa nahii.n achhaa buraa dekhaaa sunaa kuchh bhii nahii.n
maa.ngaa khudaa se raat din tere sivaa kuchh bhii nahii.n

dekhaa tujhe sochaa tujhe chaahaa tujhe puujaa tujhe
merii Khataa merii wafaa terii Khataa kuchh bhii nahii.n

jis par hamaarii aa.Nkh ne motii bichhaaye raat bhar
bhejaa wahii kaaGaz use hamane Likhaa kuchh bhii nahii.n

ik shaam kii dahaliiz par baiThe rahe wo der tak
aa.Nkho.n se kii baate.n bahut muu.Nh se Kahaa kuchh bhii nahii.n

do chaar din kii baat hai dil Khaak me.n so jaayegaa
jab aag par kaaGaz rakhaa baakii bachaa kuchh bhii nahii.n

ahasaas kii Khushbuu kahaa.N, aavaaz ke juganuu kahaa.N
Khaamosh yaado.n ke sivaa, ghar me.n rahaa kuchh bhii nahii.n


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divyam

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Re: Baharain Aa Hi Jaayengi ...... !!!

«Reply #58 on: March 04, 2009, 02:45:53 PM »

Quote from: sajid_ghayel on March 04, 2009, 02:27:08 PM

jee haa.n, aap ne bilkul sahii samjhaa hai... Usual Smile

yahaa.n radif'kuchh bhi nahii.n' hai aur qaafiya suna, sivaa, khataa, likha etc etc hai.... Usual Smile

Mayank


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Talat

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Re: Baharain Aa Hi Jaayengi ...... !!!

«Reply #59 on: March 04, 2009, 04:53:15 PM »

Quote from: Ghaafil on March 04, 2009, 01:32:37 PM

shukriyah! Usual Smile

common repeating word in every sher after qaafiya is radif

jee yahaa.n, aap ne jo bhi baat kahii hai, woh sahii hai...... aap ne radif aur qaafiya ki sahii pehchaan ki hai, congrats Usual Smile

'kuch kah na sake kuchh bhool gaye'

shayad is baar, mai.n apni baat sahii Dhang se samjha saka huu.n,aur aap ke saare confusion duur ho gaye ho.nge.. phir bhii, agar koii bhi baat samjh me.n na aaaii ho to, aap beshaq dubaara puuch leejiyegaa...

-Mayank

Mayank Ji,

Ab meri saari confusion Radeef aur qafiya ko le kar jo thi, door ho gayi hai.

Aapki bohot shukrguzaar hoon aapne meri shayari ko padha, us main se galti ko nikaala...aur mujhe seekhne ka mauqa diya. Itna waqt diya aapne yahan, tah-e-dil se shukriya....

Agar kabhi aur kuch poochna hua to aapko takleef zaroor dungi DOH

Talat


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