**Tabah kar diya mujhe** by Rahim

by dead heart on April 22, 2010, 12:23:13 PM
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dead heart
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Ek koshish kar raha hoon...Chahta hoon ke ap honestly likhiyega ke kahan galtiyan hai iss nazm main ya kya kami rehgayi...
Aksar hum khud par likte hai...ager koi pasand agaya, toh mohobat ki kavitaon ki line lag jati hai aur ager woh chorr gaya toh dard bhari nazmein likte hai...Main chahta hoon ek aisi larrki ki awaz ap sab tak ponchaun jiska balatkar hua hai...
Humari society main aj yeh nayi baat nahin hai ke larrkian apni inzzat kho deti hai..Kya kabhi unke nazariye se dekha hai dard kya hota hai...shayad nahin..kabhi soch ke dekhein...
Koi tumhe tanha chorr jaye toh dard ke gane sunane lag jate ho..kabhi uska socha hai jiske paas apna kuch bhi nahin bacha..
Yeh nazm unn tamam dard bhari, lachar larrkiyon ke naam...

Mere kapde pharr meri izzat utar li,
Mere liye toh meri zindagi ujarr di,
Tujhe maza aa raha tha meri cheekein sunn kar,
Meri rangeen zindagi main tune kalik pot'di,
Tabah kar dia mujhe...

Bachana chahti thi apna jism mere hamsafar ke liye,
Sirf ek yehi toh tha jo rakha tha uske liye,
Chinn lia tune mujse jispe haq sirf mera tha,
Bhuja diya tune meri zindagi ke jhalte diye,
Tabah kar dia mujhe…

Kash tujhe maine apna dost banaya na hota,
Tujh pe khud se zada bharosa kiya na hota,
Aj pachta rahi hoon apne woh fesle par,
Kash tujhe maine khud se milon dhoor rakha hota,
Tabah kar dia mujhe…

Puchta hoon main sabse,
Kyun loot lete ho izzat dusron ki,
Kya milta hai dard dekar,
Ager khud ki behen ke saath aisa hua hota toh,
Mat bhoolna woh bhi kisi ki behen thi,
Kisi ki beti thi,
Mat karo zindagiyan barbaad doston,
Yehi haath jod kar kehta hai ‘Khamosh’,
Chorr do aise zindagiyan tabah karna…

~Rahim~
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neelgold
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«Reply #1 on: April 23, 2010, 12:29:16 AM »
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Sorry RAhim ji i cnt read dis......
im vry senstive vry vry..

muz main himat hi nahi ki main yeh paad paon ...apka intro hi paad ke main hil gaye ......
U r bringing social issue tht's vry commendable...............
yeh haar koi nahi kaar sakta .... ur doing vry gud work ..........

 Thumbs UP icon_salut icon_salut icon_salut
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Rajesh Harish
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«Reply #2 on: April 23, 2010, 03:35:13 AM »
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Bahut hi uttam aur sahi bayan kiya hai aap ne Rahim Ji
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madhuwesh
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«Reply #3 on: April 23, 2010, 04:02:24 AM »
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 :icon_salut:Rahim bhai aapne sirf sachai bayaan kya,kuch galat nahi likha.kaash aap ke tarah ye ladkiyon ke izzat lootne waale ka soch hota .aapne ladkiyon ke dard mehsoos karke likha.kitna badaa dil hai aapke paas.very touching creation.excellent.God bless you bhai. icon_salut Hats off to you! Applause Applause Applause Applause icon_thumleft
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dead heart
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«Reply #4 on: April 23, 2010, 11:51:28 AM »
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Quote from: neelgold on April 23, 2010, 12:29:16 AM
Sorry RAhim ji i cnt read dis......
im vry senstive vry vry..

muz main himat hi nahi ki main yeh paad paon ...apka intro hi paad ke main hil gaye ......
U r bringing social issue tht's vry commendable...............
yeh haar koi nahi kaar sakta .... ur doing vry gud work ..........

 Thumbs UP icon_salut icon_salut icon_salut
Main phir bhi shukriya karna chahunga apka Neel jee...Apne waqt diya bahaut shukriya...
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dead heart
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«Reply #5 on: April 23, 2010, 11:52:17 AM »
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Quote from: Rajesh Harish on April 23, 2010, 03:35:13 AM
Bahut hi uttam aur sahi bayan kiya hai aap ne Rahim Ji
Shukriya Rajesh jee..
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dead heart
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«Reply #6 on: April 23, 2010, 11:54:49 AM »
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Quote from: madhuwesh on April 23, 2010, 04:02:24 AM
:icon_salut:Rahim bhai aapne sirf sachai bayaan kya,kuch galat nahi likha.kaash aap ke tarah ye ladkiyon ke izzat lootne waale ka soch hota .aapne ladkiyon ke dard mehsoos karke likha.kitna badaa dil hai aapke paas.very touching creation.excellent.God bless you bhai. icon_salut Hats off to you! Applause Applause Applause Applause icon_thumleft
Teh dil se shukriya Madhu di..Haan khud par toh sab likte hai..dusron ke dard ko samaj kar likhna bhi ek adat honi chahiye har shayar ki...woh gana yaad ata hai mujhe ke dusron ke liye toh yahan sabhi jeete hai, hai asli jeene dusron ke liye jeena...shukriya...
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cara
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«Reply #7 on: April 23, 2010, 01:38:00 PM »
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Wah kya baat hai           Rahim ji.........


Kuch pal ka maza mila tujhe
zindagi bar ki saza mili mujhe
chila chila kar apni izzat ki bheekh maangi maine
jaanwar ban gaya tha tu meri izzat ko nahi baksha tune
barbaad kar diya tune "Tabha kar diya mujhe"..........
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madhuwesh
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«Reply #8 on: April 23, 2010, 01:44:58 PM »
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Cara ji aapne bhi bahut khoob likha.great work. icon_salut icon_thumleft Applause Applause Applause Applause
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Talat
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«Reply #9 on: April 23, 2010, 02:47:14 PM »
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Bohot sensitive aur dard bhare topic pe aapne likha hai Rahim....bohot achchi tarah aapne ek abla ladki ke dard ko lafzon main utaara hai.....
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dead heart
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«Reply #10 on: April 23, 2010, 09:12:16 PM »
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Shukriya Cara jee..Nice lines by you too..

Bahaut bahaut shukriya Talat di..
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KOYAL46
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«Reply #11 on: April 24, 2010, 08:32:29 AM »
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Samaaj k kalank ye vahashi darinde....
Maanav k roop mai ye naari-bhakshi Raakshsh....
Sajjaye maut se kam koi sazaa nahi inki....
Par Har naari himmat kar nahi paati...
Khud-ko badnaami se bachane hetu police mai ja nahi paati... tearyeyed tearyeyed tearyeyed
Kitni Vidambanaa hai....Bebasi hai....Lachargi hai....
Jis naari JAATI k jism se janm lete ye nar....
Usko patit karte nahi hichakte ye pal bhar bhi... DOH DOH DOH DOH DOH





Quote from: -Rahim- on April 22, 2010, 12:23:13 PM
Ek koshish kar raha hoon...Chahta hoon ke ap honestly likhiyega ke kahan galtiyan hai iss nazm main ya kya kami rehgayi...
Aksar hum khud par likte hai...ager koi pasand agaya, toh mohobat ki kavitaon ki line lag jati hai aur ager woh chorr gaya toh dard bhari nazmein likte hai...Main chahta hoon ek aisi larrki ki awaz ap sab tak ponchaun jiska balatkar hua hai...
Humari society main aj yeh nayi baat nahin hai ke larrkian apni inzzat kho deti hai..Kya kabhi unke nazariye se dekha hai dard kya hota hai...shayad nahin..kabhi soch ke dekhein...
Koi tumhe tanha chorr jaye toh dard ke gane sunane lag jate ho..kabhi uska socha hai jiske paas apna kuch bhi nahin bacha..
Yeh nazm unn tamam dard bhari, lachar larrkiyon ke naam...

Mere kapde pharr meri izzat utar li,
Mere liye toh meri zindagi ujarr di,
Tujhe maza aa raha tha meri cheekein sunn kar,
Meri rangeen zindagi main tune kalik pot'di,
Tabah kar dia mujhe...

Bachana chahti thi apna jism mere hamsafar ke liye,
Sirf ek yehi toh tha jo rakha tha uske liye,
Chinn lia tune mujse jispe haq sirf mera tha,
Bhuja diya tune meri zindagi ke jhalte diye,
Tabah kar dia mujhe…

Kash tujhe maine apna dost banaya na hota,
Tujh pe khud se zada bharosa kiya na hota,
Aj pachta rahi hoon apne woh fesle par,
Kash tujhe maine khud se milon dhoor rakha hota,
Tabah kar dia mujhe…

Puchta hoon main sabse,
Kyun loot lete ho izzat dusron ki,
Kya milta hai dard dekar,
Ager khud ki behen ke saath aisa hua hota toh,
Mat bhoolna woh bhi kisi ki behen thi,
Kisi ki beti thi,
Mat karo zindagiyan barbaad doston,
Yehi haath jod kar kehta hai ‘Khamosh’,
Chorr do aise zindagiyan tabah karna…

~Rahim~
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ek_tamanna
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«Reply #12 on: February 01, 2011, 01:41:07 PM »
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yeh hadsha roz kisi na kisi ke saath hota hai.....bas khamosh ho jati hai juban isse padh kar ......sun kar.......

khuda sabko sahi rah dikhaye ....

aapki rachna padh ke dil kamp utha .......

khus rahiye
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dead heart
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«Reply #13 on: February 01, 2011, 03:01:05 PM »
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Quote from: ek_tamanna on February 01, 2011, 01:41:07 PM
yeh hadsha roz kisi na kisi ke saath hota hai.....bas khamosh ho jati hai juban isse padh kar ......sun kar.......

khuda sabko sahi rah dikhaye ....

aapki rachna padh ke dil kamp utha .......

khus rahiye

Ohh apka teh dil se shukriya Ek tamana jee..
bahaut bahaut shukriya..
Khush rahiye..!
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«Reply #14 on: February 01, 2011, 04:56:37 PM »
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Rahim.....kai aisi rachnayein hongi jo pehle likhi hui hain hamare aane se aur hum unko padh nahin paate....aur jab achanak saamne aati hain to..bas kho se jate hain.....
ek apne paas ssanjo k rakhne layak kavita hai ye aapki..bht achhci koshish ek ladki k dard ko jahir karne ki......bht achche bhai......
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