teri yaad:Tarruf Yoindia Sae : Give your Introduction

sana Afroz

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koi to hoga sabab jo tumhein bhulaya hai,
hazaar de ke daleelein qaraar aaya hai..

tumhara kya tumhein khud ki khabar nahin rahti,
tumhaare wastey duniya ka gham uthaya hai....

bahut hai tez taassub ki dhoop dekho to,
daraaz hota yahaan nafraton ka saaya hai..

kisi pe kaise yaqeen aankh band kar ke karein,
kisi ko kya pata kitna fareb khaaya hai..

"sana" hamari duaon mein ab bhi rahta hai,
wo jiski yaad mein hamnein jahaan bhulaya hai..


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surindarn

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Re: teri yaad

«Reply #1 on: November 11, 2014, 08:58:04 PM »

waah kyaa baat hai. Applause


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Ram Krishan Rastogi

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Re: teri yaad

«Reply #2 on: November 12, 2014, 03:44:13 AM »

श्री साना अफरोज साहिब ,यो इंडिया मे आपका स्वागत है हमने आपको कहाँ भुलाया है आपको तो हमने अपने दिल मे बसाया है


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jnyana91

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Re: teri yaad

«Reply #3 on: November 12, 2014, 08:13:53 AM »

bahut khub... Applause


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SURESH SANGWAN

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Re: teri yaad

«Reply #4 on: November 12, 2014, 12:01:56 PM »


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sbechain

Guest

Re: teri yaad

«Reply #5 on: November 12, 2014, 12:37:21 PM »

Quote from: sana Afroz on November 11, 2014, 03:06:48 PM

koi to hogi wajah jo tumhein bhulaya hai,
hazaar de ke daleelein qaraar aaya hai..

tumhara kya hai tumhein khud khabar nahin rahti,
tumhaare wastey duniya ka gham uthaya hai....

bahut hai tez taassub ki dhoop dekho to,
daraaz hota yahaan nafraton ka saaya hai..

kisi pe kaise yaqeen aankh band kar ke karein,
kisi ko kya pata kitna fareb khaaya hai..

"sana" hamari duaon mein ab bhi rahta hai,
wo jiski yaad mein hamnein jahaan bhulaya hai..

wah wah !


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qadeer_junaid

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Re: teri yaad

«Reply #6 on: November 12, 2014, 01:56:44 PM »

Mahutram Sana Sahibah ...aadab ..

Aapki ghazal parhi mustafeed hua ...Mashallah Har sher me juda mazmoon hai juda qasida kari ...ghazal ke ek ek sher ne teer ba hadaf ka kaam kiya hai ...do ek baaten jo maine mahsoos ki likh raha hun zaroori nahi ke aap mutafiq hon ..

Matle ke misra e oola me lafz wajah ghalat baandha gaya hai wajh ...zahr bahr ke wazn per hai naa dua dawa ke wazn per ...lafz hogi ko hoga aur lafz wajh ko sabab se badal ke dekhen baat ban jayegi ...baaqi aap bahtar jaanti hain ...

maqte ke misra e oola ke akhir me lafz HAI aane se ijtemaa e radeefen ka aib dar aaya hai agarche aisi misaalen darjano ke hisaab se asateza ke yahan milti hain magar isse parhez karna chahiye ...baaqi aapki ghazal shandaar o jaandaar hai dad o mubarak baad qubool kare'n ..

Dua go

Qadeertoopchi


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sana Afroz

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Re: teri yaad

«Reply #7 on: November 13, 2014, 09:36:34 AM »

Qadeer shb shukriya islah ka , mustafid huii. Ab deken meri ghazal sahi hai ya nahin?


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qadeer_junaid

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Re: teri yaad

«Reply #8 on: November 13, 2014, 12:03:06 PM »

Quote from: sana Afroz on November 13, 2014, 09:36:34 AM

Qadeer shb shukriya islah ka , mustafid huii. Ab deken meri ghazal sahi hai ya nahin?

Islaah na kahen chunke mai khud mubtadi hun seekhne ke marhale se guzar raha hun ...mai jo mahsos kia wo kah diya tha ....aap sukhan shanaas hi nahi adab shanaas o munkasirul mizaj maloom parhti hain masha allah ...Aye kaash ke sabhi log aapki tarhan kushada zahn hote ..Allah apko umre hawwa ata kare ...ab aapka misra fanni aitbaar se bilkul thik hai ..masha allah ...dad hazir hai ek baar phir aapki is qayamat qez ghazal ke huzoor ..

dua go
qadeertoopchi


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Yoindia ShayariAdab > Dosti / Friendship Area > Tarruf Yoindia Sae : Give your Introduction > Topic: teri yaad